Friday, October 28, 2005

8 months today

Everything is really unreal today ( the insomnia of last night didn't help). i'm trying to be extra patient and loving today. I think we need a long walk.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Waging Peace

The older two decided to go with me. I think in the future I'll only get them to vigils in the summer- it was too cold for them. But it felt good, to be out there, standing up, saying "I dissaprove of the deaths caused by Bush's lies". Only one person yelled rude comments. How long will we have to light candles?

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Wage Peace

2000 deaths is too many. One would have been too many.

Wage peace.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

You know you're a homeschooler when...

Your 8 year old knocks over his dresser because he was trying to get the die he was using for the history game about the spread of Islam that he was playing by himself....and you simply hand him and hammer and some nails and go about your business. He did a great job, but I don't know who I'm prouder of- him or me.

It's hard to see how....

they will turninto self motivated learners when I can't step out into the garage to put laundry in the dryer without someone getting up to dance on the table.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Read this article

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Harry Potter questions

What would you see in the Mirror of Erised?
What would a boggart look like to you?
What would your patronus be?

Mirror of Erised- me holding my living, healthy baby boy.

Boggart- definatley ditto to Mrs. Weasley.

Patronus- I've never thought about it., The only animal I've ever felt affinity for are spiders. So maybe a giant spider.

OK, now I want to see your answers!

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Today the Boy and I have both had headaches, but we've all gotten a lot done. We have come up with the brilliant idea of the kids working on individual subjects while I do my ten minute ab workout. This really relieves the time pressures on the day. We have been working on large posters of latin vocabulary, but I then realised I had no place to put them. I am trying to figure out the balance of relaxing and trusting my kids more while still making sure they learn what I feel they need to learn- not an always easy task.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Awww...a milestone

The Boy, who is 8, got his "official" Bible at church today. The pastor gave a lesson on using the Bible and then handed them out to the class. I remember sitting in the Cry Room with those other moms, nursing these babies...and now they are at The Age of Reason.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Dance of the Swans, Part 1

HRH is working on her Badge Dance right now, and I have no clue how to help her. She has to include sautes, spring points, "step and hops" ( I have no clue what this step is really called) and both fron and side splits. Her chosen music, indicated in the title, is 2 1/2 minutes. All she wants to do is pirouette. I've been recording her on the digi so she can at least be consistent. Anyone know how to post a .mov file?

Friday, October 14, 2005

October 15 is Infant Loss Remembrance Day

Please light a candle, or wear a pink and blue ribbon, and please say a prayer.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Oh why oh Why....

...does God seem so determined to teach me to let go of my lists and schedules? I need htme to get through my days. I don't WANT to be flexible! It's too frightening.

I totally messed up the schedule for teaching at MOPS today. No one was upset- but me. "I sent the kids to the wrong place! At the wrong time!". Sigh....

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Is this guy for real?

I can't decide if this guy is serious, or writing toungue in cheek. What do you think?

Friday, October 07, 2005

"Doing Well"

A friend of mine, whose baby sister was stillborn, tells me I'm "doing well". Her mom went off the deep end and well- I don't seem to have. I guess the definition of doing well after losing a child is that you don't go crazy. It really is crazy making- the though in the back of your mind that you should somehow be able to re-work reality, the phantom stuff, whether phantom kicking or crying. You feel like you're losing it, but somehow you get through each day.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Ch-ch changes

Today I freecycled the highchair. We have had a highchair in our house for a full 8 years- and now it's gone. Turbo cried. I didn't think he would.

I have been using The Usbourne First Encyclopedia of Our World for science, having the kids write summaries and do diagrams in their notebooks. I cam to realise I had all these cool books I was keeping in my cubby, that I should have out on the shelf for the kids to enjoy. So I put all the Usbourne books back on the shelf and for now our main text is Rodales Guide to Organic Gardening. Our current project is learning all we can about fruit trees, so that we can start growing some.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Learning flexibilty

This is a hard one for me. Deep down, I'm just not flexibel. I like things written out ( in ink, so it "has" to happen) and I like my list to all get done in a timely manner. I get edgy if I don't. But the last few days were an exercise. Yesterday The Warlord calls to ask me if I could bring him his linch. By 11. Right in the middle of school time. I had to remind myself that one of the great thinga about homeschooling is the flexibilty. I had the kids bring stuff in the car, and we wrorked in the afternoon too, and hey, it all got done. Since I have committed to doing 10 minutes of ab work every morning, I've had to re-adjust my ideas on when we should start schoolwork-only by 10 minutes, but to control freak folks like me that's a lot.

Today I had to go pick up a bookshelf from freecycle, and take a microwave for recycling. It's almost 4 and the truckt hat was supposed to pick up our old stove and fridge by 5 isn't here.

All this means we didn't get in a walk. Maybe we'll have an extra long one tomorrow.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Hoopy little froods

My kids are positively obsessed with The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, meaning, the movie. They have watched it 4 times in the past wee, and Turbo wants to be Arthur Dent for Halloween. Biy Caesar has been making Hitchhiker's comic strips. Obviously, this will mean getting the BBC series so they can soak in the coolness of that. I look forward to them being old enough for me to let them read the books.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Crying in church

There is a praise song we sing at church, and it always makes me cry. I can't quite sing the lyrics with feeling yet, I am still to angry. And to make it worse, the band played it the first Sunday I came back after Baby Boy died. So I cry, but I'm not alone, and the love of my sisters and brothers upholds me.

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name
Blessed Be Your nameWhen I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing you pour out I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be
'Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing you pour out I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord Blessed be your name

(lyrics Matt Redman)

Saturday, October 01, 2005

I'm paranoid

I am so afraid of losing another one of my kids. I am up, unable to sleep, because I'm afraid of them dying from Avian flu. (Princess and Turbo have colds). I'm in a state of terror most of the time. We have been on only one date since February mostly because I'm afraid if I leave the kids, I'll get back and one of them will have died. The whole world is danger.