Wednesday, January 06, 2010

So, in order for me to achieve my New Years Resolutions

I may have to actually make some changes. First, to lose the weight. I need to start eating way less. part of that is doing what I did when I lost all the weight when Olivia is a baby. I need to remind myself what a serving is, and use measuring cups to not over eat. be fore anyone jumps on that...yes, I know that for women who have had food issues, that could be dangerous. But I seem to be one of those rare American women who has not, and I did that successfully before without ill effects. I also need to exercise every day. Which I have been doing pretty well at but today- I woke up late, and decided I had no time to exercise and meet even some of my goals for educating the kids today. So I didn't, I'm crabby, and even STILL Olivia is the only kid done with schoolwork. Not that the boys could not have their work done by now. Andrew has spent more time sitting at the table, screaming at his work, than writing today. I KNOW you unschoolers just cringed, but that's who and where I am. Sooooo...I need to start getting up earlier. Like at the same time everyday, either by alarm clock or having Brian get me up before he leaves for work. Suck.

Monday, January 04, 2010

New year

Today is the first day of school for the new year, and also the first day that Brian has been back to work. So for all intents and purposes, this IS the beginning of the year for me. We got off to a late start, and there was yelling involved in our school day. Not good. However, Andrew and Olivia are done for the day, and with chores too, and are off to play with friends. I also need to get back on the good eating bandwagon. Over vacation my eating and exercising suffered. One of the many reasons I hate vacations. I gained about 3 pounds, and now have that to work off in addition to all the rest I need to lose. So far I am am doing well today- I haven't eaten any animal products or fattiness yet today, though that will change at supper. Mmm, peanut chicken.

Sunday, January 03, 2010

Some thoughts on confidence vs arrogance /pride.

This has been on my mind much over recent months. Like so many of us, especially women, I have for many years suffered from a lack of confidence. We are told, in so many ways, that we aren't good enough. But in recent years I have worked to gain some skills, things which I make well and am proud of. Yet it has taken me more time still to own that. As I analysed this I became aware of part of the problem...I have been afraid of being prideful or arrogant. Which leads one to ask oneself...what is the difference between confidence and well deserved pride and arrogance and hurtful pride? Jim Bell, who was our reader at church today, hit on it I think. Pride is at another's expense. The difference is like this: "I made some great macaroni and cheese for Suzy's potluck" vs "Suzy and I both made macaroni and cheese for her potluck, but she ended up eating mine instead of hers, because it was better. Of course, that's because I have better taste in cheese than she does." It has taken me so long to own my skills because I have been afraid of being one of those people who make others feel bad. But I can be confident without that. I can accept compliments graciously. I can say, "Hey, I did a great job at that" because I can do so without belittling another (hint- if you DO "have" to put another down to prove how mad your skillz are, they probably aren't all that). I am a darn good knitter. I make pretty things with nice even stitches and feel confident in my ability to learn- to teach myself, even- most techniques I put my mind to. But I don't have to point out who is a worse knitter than I to do that. I make damnfine tasty truffles and frosting, too. So peoples, move forward with confidence in yourself. And give the same gift to those around you.