Monday, May 24, 2010

I consider this the real drug problem

Yesterday, at our end of year Sunday school celebration, the following was read. Plenty of people laughed and or/clapped. I did not. I usually try to just keep my mouth shut about this kind of thing but some days the pro spanking I am exposed to builds up the point that I must blog or burst. Here is the piece:

God Bless the Parents Who Drugged us!
The other day, someone at a store in our town read that a methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in the adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question,"Why didn't we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up? "I replied: I had a drug problem when I was young: I was drug to church on Sunday morning. I was drug to church for weddings and funerals.I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather. I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults.I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the preacher, or if I didn't put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me.I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profane four-letter word. I was drug out to pull weeds in mom's garden and flower beds and cockleburs out of dad's fields.I was drug to the homes of family, friends, and neighbors to help out some poor soul who had no one to mow the yard, repair the clothesline, or chop some firewood; and, if my mother had ever known that I took a single dime as a tip for this kindness, she would have drug me back to the woodshed.Those drugs are still in my veins; and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, and think.They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin; and, if today's children had this kind of drug problem, America would be a better place~Author unknown

  • My first problem with this is grammatical. Intentional bad grammar, even if it is trying to make a point I agree with, makes me cringe.
  • Of course the glaring thing is the "drug to the woodshed". Glorifying spanking is bad enough but the image of a child being dragged kicking and screaming to a shed where they will be beaten with an object makes me stomach roil.
  • Washing the mouth out with soap. So very wrong and potentially dangerous. I know from my days of soap making ( and stupidly leaving chocolate soap out on the counter to cure) that it's not pretty when a kid ingests soap. There are so many gentle ways to deal with swearing ( the first of which being, if you don't want your kid to say a word, never let them hear YOU say it). If a parent really feels a kid's mouth needs cleaned out for cursing, have the kid brush and floss. The dentist will love it.
  • Why shouldn't a kid accept a tip for helping someone out? My kids help people out all the time ( without being dragged into it, or hit into fear of not doing it) and I leave it to them to accept or refuse rewards.
  • Beating a kid for a bad report card? I bet that sure taught all the dyslexic kids.
  • Beating a kid for speaking ill of a teacher or preacher? Because we would never want a kid reporting wrongdoing on the part of authority figures.
This was followed the same morning by a child being offered the chance to go somewhere with me, with the threat that the child "would get spanked" for misbehaving for me. The child chose not to go with me ( of course!) and I privately told the parent that if I know a child will be spanked for misbehaving for me, I will not tell them if their child misbehaves. I DO think it's wrong to undermine parental authority but I think it would be a greater wrong to be party to a child being hit.
I look at my kids, my difficult, brilliant, combative kids, and know kids do not need to be hit to grow up awesome. Kids need love, rules, expectations, and affirmation. The real drug that would make America a better place is kids full to the brim with the knowledge that their parents will never hurt them, will calmly and gently lead them back into line when they falter, and believe that they want to make the right choices.


At 6:24 PM, Blogger Lone Star Ma said...

Amen to that.

At 6:27 PM, Blogger maybe said...

I'm appreciate your writing style.Please keep on working hard.^^

At 1:49 PM, Blogger KrissleB. said...

Thank you for your views on this matter. I think that we do need to chat at some point.

At 1:24 PM, Blogger W.C.Camp said...

I really believe in a lot of what you have said. I paricularly second the idea that if you do not want your children to cuss, then start out by NOT cussing yourself. So TRUE!

I do think a lot of the original post was a little more tongue and cheek though even though the subject matter and grammar could be construed offensive. I write a lot of 'slice of life' blogs and if my readers took EVERYTHING I put down in words as gospel, they would think I am certifiably insane!

Finally, while in principle I never needed to use spanking as a motivator for my kid growing up, I can only look to the world today as compared to that of my youth in the 60's and 70's. There were problems galore back then but IN GENERAL students respected teachers and elders AUTOMATICALLY a bit more then. Was that due to spanking or something else - I don't know for sure. But it seems today with all the loose standards and reduction of almost all REAL punishment, kids just don't really care what teachers, adults, or even parents have to say. That saddens me. I just feel like there is probably a happy medium there somewhere between a free-for-all like now and maybe TOO much corporal punishment when I was a kid. Sorry for the long post but just thought you might appreciate an outsiders view. Good Post - I really enjoyed reading it. W.C.C.

At 7:11 PM, Blogger gojirama said...

WCC- I think you make some good points. I do believe in giving kids expectationa and reasonable consequences. Frequently, when my kids wrong someone they are required to do chores of some sort for that person (including me!)- it makes reparations while discouraging them from re-offending.

At 4:44 PM, Blogger Friendly Neighborhood Librarian said...

Jenna, Thanks for your comments.
Those "good old days" of respectful kids is really a remembering badly - kind of like my Dad telling me how the black folks were so much happier before the Yankees came down South and told them they should want more than they had!


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