Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Mark Atkin's "Princess of Mars".

Last night, due to the wonder of streaming Netflix, Brian and I watched a recent movie adaptation of Edgar Rice Burroughs "A Princess of Mars"; for those of you not in the know, the first book in his widely known "John Carter of Mars "series.
This movie, directed and re-written by Mark Atkins, stars Anthony Sabato Jr as John Carter and Traci Lords as Dejah Thoris. The multi tasking of the director and the casting decisions
tell you right from the start that this will be a quality film.
The movie starts with some beautiful shots of what I think must be Bronson Canyon. As you may guess, I am no stranger to panoramic shots of Bronson Canyon.
It goes downhill from there, with the introduction of John Carter, Special Ops agent in Afghanistan, who after a head wound has his avatar transported to Mars 216, orbiting Alpha Centauri. I can almost forgive them for updating him from Civil War soldier; it is the least of the sins this movie commits.
We are introduced to a skinny blond Dejah Thoris who is 5 years older than I am. Even though I am not that much younger, I still would have made a better Dejah Thoris, and I can't act. I have some curves, too, which all of us who grew up on Frazetta interpretations know the Princess has also. Black hair. Curves. Not Traci Lords.
I am especially disappointed as a woman who grew up brunette and curvy, told by Hollywood that wasn't good enough but in Burroughs, for all his political incorrectness and chivalric attitudes, presented heroines that were more like me than any movie.
The Tharks? I am tempted to say, " they couldn't have done the Tharks any worse" but, somebody would take that as a challenge.
All in all, this movie may be one of the worst movies I have watched to the end. Which makes it better than that movie with the Nazi zombies at the ski resort, but not by a huge amount. This is why I knit and crochet while I watch movies...at least that hour and a half was not
completely wasted.


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