Friday, June 03, 2005

Three months later, and I'm still telling people

Tuesday night we all went to the family dental appointment. (They see all 5 of us in a two hour time span, working it so either hubby and I are in the waiting room with kids at the same time). We get there, sign, in...and the receptionist asks, "Where's the new one?" I don't know why, that question always takes me by surprise, and I usually just bluntly say, "He died". The receptionist almost starts to cry and keeps saying, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry". She asked me his name and what had happened ( this really helps so much, you would have no idea how many people never even ask what we named him). The hygenist asked about him too. In a way, it's cathartic and helps... in a way it's hard. Obviously it helps more when someone asks about Benjamin than when they ignore him. It's just easier on me when I don't have to be the one telling people he died. Hardest are the people who have never, ever mentioned him or expressed condolences.