Monday, March 28, 2005

One month, and how am I different?

Losing a child changes you. It can't be avoided. The question is, will you change for the better or for the worst? It's a choice.
I realise now how petty and selfish a person I have been. I have taken for granted that which matters. I spent so much time worrying about how I would get everything done with four children...only to have that fourth child taken from me. I spent years nagging my husband about the things I wanted him to get done while the kids and I are at church... now I do those things gladly because after all these years, he is coming to church with us. But at such a high cost!

I am so sad today, but for some reason the tears won't come. Perhaps if I started crying today, I wouldn't be able to stop.