Thursday, August 11, 2011

Maybe not Zen. Or my own kind of Zen.

I don' think you could say I'm very Zen, unless you're talking about the kind of Zen where you find spiritual fulfillment from the repetitive motion of sweeping the floor, raking the leaves, knitting the knits and purling the purls.
I am very much one of those decried "human doings". This creates a few awkward social situations for me ( as if you didn't already know I'm "differently social". In the same way Sheldon Cooper is, though I'm better at hiding it.)

One is when people tell me to relax. Sometimes this is just as a matter of course, sometimes it's when I'm a guest somewhere and I ask what I can do to help. Most people will assume I'm just being polite (of course, I DO think it's polite to ask your host if you can do anything to help) and they will return the socially required response of "No, no , you're my guest. Just relax! " .
But, I also offer to help because not being useful and helpful is stressful for me. And when someone tells me to relax (in any context) that ratchets up my stress level. This is even so in impersonal situations, such as when listening to a message where the pastor is talking about relaxing.
So please , never tell me to relax.

The other social awkwardness is when someone tells me about their day in which they totally relaxed and accomplished nothing all day (!) Often said with a certain sense of pride, like it was the same as finishing a triathalon. Now, I usually end up saying something like "Uh-huh" because what I recognise as they appropriate social response is at war with what would be an authentic response.
There's a reason my favourite hobby produces a tangible product.


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