Thursday, July 14, 2011

Why pro life is not always about religion.

My mother was a mentally ill, indigent poor woman in an abusive relationship when she got pregnant with me. When she was 3 months pregnant she started bleeding, and her docs told her to get a D&C because "if your child's still alive it will be so deformed you'll wish you'd never given birth" . She had me any way, I wasn't deformed (I did have turned in ankles that required braces for a few months, and later corrective shoes). Yes,I was raised poor, and my father was abusive. But you know what? I've always been DAMN happy to be alive and that's made me anti- abortion; because according to pro choice wisdom the chance of someone like me being born is the reason for abortion rights. And BTW, I have not repeated the past- I've been married 18 years, own a home, held down the same job for 13 years, and have three beautiful intelligent children who think "abuse " is broccoli for dinner.   

I do know a handful of agnostic or atheist pro lifers. Like many people with a strong opinion one way or another, their reason are often very personal. And one thing I can say....they tend to be even more dogmatic about their pro life position than religious pro lifers. I don't know if it's because with no belief in a soul they see the death of the fetus all fully permanent, or if no belief in a deity means they see no one for a woman who regrets her decision to ask forgiveness of. Or some reason I can't fathom, and /or a combination thereof.


At 4:31 PM, Blogger Lindsay said...

A little one is pro-abortion..people are 'pro-choice'. Because no one should tell me when to reproduce unless they are paying my bills. If you would never have an abortion, great that is your CHOICE...but should women who have abortions be criminally prosecuted?

At 6:36 PM, Blogger gojirama said...

I think first and foremost, society needs to step up and make sure finances are never, never a reason for a woman to think she can't go on to raise her child. Every time that happens society has failed. My mother couldn't "afford" me; I was raised on welfare and as a taxpayer am happy to see my money go to help parents raise their children. No, I would not see women criminally prosecuted for having an abortion, but if another person performs it, yes. There are ways society needs to step up contraception, full medical coverage, day care benefits, food benefits...all those things we've been cutting (which is why I have felt for over a decade that the right wingers were more likely to increase abortions, while the left were doing more to enable women to raise children).
(and I do, personally know two women who describe themselves as pro abortion- even going so far as to say that mentally ill women should have their pregnancies forcibly aborted, and one of them believes in required pre-natal testing with abortions required for disabled fetuses).
Like many people I'm personal and emotional about this issue...when I think of all the things that seemed to be stacked against me while in utero, yet knowing how happy I am to be alive, I hate to think of anyone being denied the right to be born and be in a position to be happy (or not).
And to add to that, my first two jobs were in special needs preschools. Certainly tuned me into the disbality rights movement segment of the pro life community. I've always regretted that we didn't put ourselves in a position to adopt a disabled child.
Yeah, that's long winded.

At 8:06 PM, Blogger Lindsay said...

NO, I totally see what you are saying, and I agree that no woman should be FORCED to choose because of lack of healthcare, etc. But I am not comfortable with ANYBODY but ME 'vetting' my reasons for giving birth or not. So I guess morally it works fine, but it isn't something you can legislate. And I don't think you are talking about legalities; BUT If you insist every fetus be brought to term, then you are talking jail sentences for abortion and investigation of miscarriages, etc. Maybe even a repeat of Nicolae Ceausescu's Romania.
I think the original point of your post is that hard circumstances don't neccesitate desperate choices, which is RIGHT ON>
By the way...that story effected me very deeply...I had no idea! And I admire your journey through it all.

At 1:09 PM, Blogger gojirama said...

I am talking about moralities, yes... and especially the morality of a society that doesn't take care of it's own. I will always feel that if a woman feels she can't bring her pregnancy to term, it's because of society's failure to provide or protect. History shows that if nothing else it's useless to try and legislate abortion...I would go so far as to say that the internet has made the issue a non issue. Even as someone who would never have an abortion, I could think of at least 3 different ways, off the top of my head, to induce one without visiting a doctor or poking anything metal in me. (One without going further than my backyard).
And don't get me started on people who want to end abortion but persecute gays! I used to work with PLAGAL and they always joked that they should be embraced because they certainly weren't having unplanned pregnancies!
Oh, and thanks for reading :)


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