Really, really down
I had a dream that I was going to a grove where people went when they knew they were dying, and their loved ones would go see them on their way. I went to sleep and kept waiting to wake up on the other side...but didn't. That was a few days ago and I have been barely functioning, going through the motions since then. I feel so hopeless, hopeless to even give my living kids the happy childhood they deserve. I want to turn back the clock.
posted by gojirama @ 11:51 AM
3 Comments:
goji, i am so very sorry for your continued pain...your process is so real and raw and NOW...
please continue to be good to yourself, even when you feel as though you are *lacking*...you are many things and one of those many things is a dedicated and caring mother...i trust that you are doing everything you can, and that the ebb and flow of life has enveloped your children rather than swallowed them...
you will all come out of this the better for having traveled it together...however rough and sad and painful the terrain...
i have every faith in you, and in the strength YOU have instilled in your children...
you be blessed, x.
goji-
You are a great mother and your children know you are there for them even when you don't feel like there is enough of you left to be anywhere. I am so sorry for your loss. You are still such a vibrant force, though - I feel you all the way across these many miles... you may not feel it, but I do. What you are still matters. Love you. -M
love to you today, sweetie.
you are a wonderful mother and your children know this. (((goji)))
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