raising godzillas

A closet in order

2012-01-29T18:19:00.000-08:00

You all know I like order. Not only that, I find creating order therapeutic. Further than that, I find getting rid of things lightens my soul. Why pay a therapist when I can sort through my closet for things I haven't worn in a year and make a Goodwill run?
Yet it seems I am always in a vicious circle. Clear closets. Take 7 bags to the care and share table at my MOPS group, or to a thrift store. Then, stop in and find a cute sweater I can't resist. (then there are hand me downs for kids,too)
It's harder now that I've gotten in shape. I'm now at a size I can be happy at indefinitely (4, for those curious but too polite to ask). When I buy an item of clothing, it will fir for the long haul, not just til I lose another 15 pounds. So I should stop buying, right? Between Christmas and this past week, I kind of went nuts rewarding myself for my progress ( better than eating a cake and LOSING my progress, right?) . I got an Easter dress, which none of my bras fit under. I got pants . I got sweaters. I have enough jeans to last a week (even though I only wear them once before watching, enough pants for another week, enough BLACK sweaters for a week, enough other sweaters for another week... you get the picture. If I wore all the shoes I own into the ground, they might last until all I need is slippers for shuffling round the nursing home. The last thing I got was a tiny denim miniskirt. Hey, it was $3, and I can TOTALLY ROCK IT. I have NO IDEA where I will wear it, even with thick leggings. So now, I must be done until shorts weather, when I will gleefully discard all the shorts that don't fit and hear to the thrift store. And but a NEW swimsuit...not just new to me. Except, ComicCon is coming up,and my costume really needs a swirly black cape-that doesn't count, does it?

Three things the power outage reminded me of

2012-01-23T15:41:00.000-08:00

Number One: I hate being too broke to have mobile web. Having a netbook that I could take down to Starbucks is nice, yes; but it's not a smart phone. I don't think there's any thing that money can buy that I want more. When our life situation is such that I return to full time paid work, that will be my NUMBER ONE PRIORITY. My phone will do EVERYTHING phones can do at that point in time no matter what percentage of my paycheck it takes.
Number Two: This is why I don't go camping. I really don't believe my husband when he says that if I CHOOSE to go without hot running water, heat, light, a working oven and WI-FI for a couple of days it will be " fun". Having those things is fun, not having them is not-fun.
Number Three : A successful marriage is not really about the romance. Sure, flowers and jewelry are nice if you're into that (I'm not, personally) and I DO like a dinner out, but that's just the sprinkles. It's not even the icing. Real love, real success, lies int he ability for you and your spouse to dig wet firewood out from under a snow bank because you have no heat, clean up the dead fallen branches together, and break up ice and shovel the walk and driveway as a team. If you can't find the romance and happy in that, not only may you be with the wrong person, but it's very likely you won't be happy with anyone.

Snowpocalypse reading

2012-01-17T12:56:00.000-08:00

I never seem to have enough time to read, but with us being mid-snowpocalypse, I'm letting my kids roam the snowy neighbourhood whilst I catch up on reading.

I love reading about human evolution, and have read two good books on the subject lately. In The Artificial Ape , Timothy Taylor looks at the ways technology have influenced human evolution. I first became interested when I read a review mentioning that he posits the baby sling as an important impetus in our evolution, and Taylor does not disappoint in that area. I'm currently reading The Origin of our Species by Chris Stringer. This book is scholarly but accessible, and for a book about evolution by a British author, refreshingly free of religion-bashing.

However, with a house full of noisy kids, it can be hard to concentrate on scholarly works so I've been interspersing a fair number of graphic novels. I recently finished DC's Blackest Night series, which is probably the best comic series I have read in...ever. Whilst focusing on the Lantern Corps, it also gives great insight into the psychology of various Justice League characters in the face of resurrected loved ones. I've also read several of Marvel's Ender's Game imprint ; (Battle School and War of Gifts ) . I believe any Orson Scott Card fan would find them enjoyable.

I've also recently read Stephen King's newest, Like most of King's work, I couldn't put it down.It's well researched, and I think may appeal to history buffs who are not fans of King's work. Interesting aside- I was interested to learn in the afterword that novelist Joe Hill is King's son. While not surprised, I can see why Hill chose to use a different last name until he had established himself.

What's next on my reading list? I have a few collections with stories by Charlaine Harris on hold at the library; in addition to the books I got for Christmas, there are a few books I got for kids that I want to read. Then, and only then, I will let myself put some more SCIENCE! on hold. My reading list for the next month or so looks like this:

Whedonistas

Chicks Dig Timelords

Serenity, Better Days, Volume 2

Sirens to Gotham city (series)

War of the Green Lanterns

African Exodus

African Genesis

The Dawn Warriors

In Search of the Neanderthals

Neanderthal Burials

The Biology of Morals Systems

Homo Britannicus

Breastfeeding in public: the ongoing Saga

2012-01-15T15:41:00.000-08:00

When my children were little, I sought out books for them with images of breastfeeding babies.
When they were at the picture book stage, and had younger siblings who nursed or were nursing toddlers themselves, I favoured books like A Teeny Tiny Baby by Amy-Schwartz and Happy Birth Day by Robie Harris over books with pictures of bottle feeding. One of my favourite Christmas books, The Story Christmas Jane Ray , features two paintings of Mary nursing the Christ Child, and is one I still share with my little ones at work.
During this stage in my childrens' lives, I was of course nursing them everywhere- Starbucks, Barnes and Noble, work, church services, even in a sling cooking or while pushing a cart down the aisles of Fred Meyer. I only once, in all 8 years or public breastfeeding, had someone say something negative to me (unless you count the time that woman at a Starbucks read me the riot act for caffienating my kid's boob-juice-but she had no problem with me nursing).
I knew, and know, that public breastfeeding is still controversial. There have been nurse ins with the past month, and just last week a campaign to bring breastfeeding back to Sesame Street. Yet I was still shocked when this past week artist Dave Dorman raised objections on his blog about the cover art on Fiona Staple's upcoming comic Saga. Dorman, whose C.V. includes illustrations for Heavy Metal , objected to this image in which the female protagonist is breastfeeding her infant. Dorman originally raised objections based on the fact that he mistakenly thought Saga was intended for children. It's not, but that is beside the point. In the year 2012, breastfeeding an infant should not be seen as something done for "shock value". You can read Ms Staples response here .) Dorman seems unable to separate the dual purposes of breasts. Yes, breasts are sexual and are often used in foreplay. So are hands. So are mouths. Yet we don't feel compelled to shop vegetables or eat dinner behind closed doors. Dorman needs to internalise this, especially as he's raising a son now 7. In discussing this controversy with the DM, I asked the (mostly rhetorical ) question, "What is he teaching his son about women?" The DM had an answer anyway, which was, "You don't think misogynists spring fully formed from the ground, do you? They're taught by their fathers, uncles and brothers."
I don't know Dave Dorman, I don't know what values he's passing on to his son, but I can guess from his outrage that he wants you to "think of the children". So do I- which is why I will be purchasing Saga, sharing it with my teenage children, and making sure to support images of public breast feeding whenever I can.

My medical issues (with TMI)

2012-01-12T16:57:00.000-08:00

I want tp preface this by saying that I have been seeking medical help. I don't want anyone to think I'm looking to the internet for medical advice instead of seeing a doctor.
For a few months I have had some intermittent constipation with localised discomfort. The severity is very much tied to my cycles. Brian is sure it's due to me going paleo, but I eat HUGE amounts of veg and salad, and I can just feel something, in the same spot. Not like a lump but SOMETHING. Even when I am not in discomfort, if I do belly rolls I can feel it. I HATE HATE HATE doctors and any procedure more invasive than a tooth cleaning causes near paralysing fear in me. I have not has a check up in 4 years; I wouldn't get them for free unless I feared ( as I do now) that I have something going on with my body that left unchecked might kill me. A wierd side note- rather than making it worse, exercise makes the pain almost disappear.
I went to my doctor Dec 27th. Nothing seemed out of place; she found no palpable masses, no health issues at all. No tenderness. She did a blood test for kidney, liver and thyroid function. BTW, blood draws for me are a two person job- one to draw the blood,the other to squeeze my hand and remind me to breathe. Yes, I actually DID stop breathing during my blood draw, and have fainted in the past from them.
Understand, I had all of my kids drug free, not from any hippy naturalness but because I TRULY find 25 hours of unmedicated back labour less daunting than being pricked by a needle. That combination tells you I must be in a lot of pain, and worrisome pain, to be pursuing this medically.
Last week, abdominal ultrasound. Every thing is normal, but I am able to pinpoint the source of my pain as the spleen. I now call them spleen attacks. Yesterday was the last day of my period ( which lasted too long, let me tell you. Since Sunday evening I have been in my most severe pain yet, spending what time I could doubled over and barely able to eat. (I know, because I would have myself a few years ago, that some of you are thinking, "Not able to eat? I'd like that problem!" The reality? Not so much, and at 5'1, 123 pounds, I don't have a lot of not eating wiggle room)

So I finally got a visit with a gastroenterologist set up, which took ALL FREAKING AFTERNOON. And the appointment is in FEBRUARY. I dread the thought of menstruating again with this unchecked. A friend has brought up endometreosis, which I mentioned again in yet ANOTHER voicemail left with my doctor. In the meantime, internet- any thoughts?

Fitness Resolutions you should make this year.

2011-12-30T13:42:00.000-08:00

New years is almost upon us, and people are talking about resolutions. Now, I don't think you need to start positive changes on Jan 1st, but if that's your thing, I have a few ideas I hope you'll consider. -for yourself, and for everyone you love and who loves you.

I will walk more . Included in this should be walking to run errands whenever possible. If you can improve your health AND help the planet at the same time, it's double win!

I will eat more vegetables. Whatever your eating philosophy, I believe the bulk of your plate- at least 75%- should be filled with a variety of veg. No matter what you serve with it, it's hard to go wrong when you start with a plate mostly filled with salad or steamed veg.

I will not fear good fats. Depending on your philosophies, your definition of good fats may vary some. But some are a given- extra virgin olive oil, avocados, and coconut are beneficial fats you should be eating. If you can, add nuts, naturally raised meats, flax meal, and organic full fat dairy. Just please, please, please don't torture and damage yourself with a low fat diet, unless under doctor's orders.

I will not fear carbohydrates This may seem unusual coming from a paleo type, but there it is. While cutting almost all grains from one's diet VERY much reduces the amount of carbs I eat compared to a year ago, I also will most certainly not pretend mashed cauliflower is mashed potatoes in an attempt to reduce my carb intake. I fear no fruit, either.

I will reduce my sugar intake, and if I choose to eat sweets I will eat REAL SUGAR. Most of us could stand to eat less sweets, even if we aren't staring down obesity and diabetes. If you've got to have a sweet treat, go for the real thing and eat moderately.

I will do my best not to drink my calories. Water, tea and black coffee are much better choices than soda, juice, alcohol or that delicious mocha. If you do choose to drink calories, adjust your eating accordingly.

May this new year bring you improved health!

This year's curricula

2011-12-20T14:49:00.000-08:00

Thank to my friend Rebecca over at Homeschooling With The Kvenvoldens reminded me that I have not shared my year's schedule with you yet! Here goes:

Math- all in Saxon- Turbo 6/4, GothGrrl 7/6, and the Boy Algebra One. he will finish in spring and start Two, with a goal of completing three years of high school math in 2 years.

Grammar- Turbo is finishing First Language Lessons for the Well Trained Mind, level 4 and will start Hake 5 in January. GothGrrl is in Hale 7 and The Boy in Classical Writing, Aesop and Homer for Older Beginners.

Science- Turbo, Science Daybook. The older two, Apex online.

French- Turbo, Baron E-Z French. The older two, Apex online. (The boy in Honours)

Latin- Turbo in Learning Latin Through Mythology, the older two in Ecce Romani 1B.

Greek- All in Koine- Turbo level one, the older two in three.

History- Turbo in History of the World: The Ancients (second round!) and the older two in History of the Ancient World- which I love but wish I could find tests.

Literature- per The Well Trained Mind, according to Grade Level.

Art History- Short Lessons in Art History

Turbo also has Writing with Ease, Volume 2.

Classes, we have classes!

Tues: Gothgrrl, Art; Turbo, Tap

Weds GothGrrl and the Boy, Conformation and Youth Night

Fri They all did a semester of Kendo on Fridays, but are not going back

Sat Turbo, ballet

Sun Turbo, bell and vocal choirs; Gothgrrl, bell choir.

In addition, Turbo just finished his 5th Nutcracker, which added rehearsals on Saturdays and Sundays.

The arts. So hard. Again.

2011-12-13T14:12:00.000-08:00

If you follow me, you know that for years we have used a charter school. The main reason I use it is to get fine arts classes paid for, and last year's budget cuts severely curtailed that. We can get one class per week each in fine arts and in PE , for a duration of up to 2 hours. Funding ends May 31, so any classes after that come out of pocket. Last year, we learnt this in May and had to pull Turbo's June dance out of our already thin budget.
This year Turbo is in tap/ballet and Gothgrrl is in art classes. She has REALLY blossomed there. I went into this year knowing I would need to account for Turbo's Nutcracker and costume fees, plus one month of dance class. I've still got about $200 I will need to come up with by June- which was in the plan and hopefully most of it will come from the always good Lenten paychecks (because we have more services and I work more hours). But I just found out yesterday that the school will only pay for 16 of Gothgrrls's art classes, of which she's already been to 7. This leaves me with night on 4 months plus supplies to account for.
This is on top of expenses related to the bell choirs they are both in, including a 2014 trip to Korea for the girl.
So folks, if you want to support the arts, please remember that I sell truffles and Jayne hats ( and other random hats that are fast and easy). I've got an authenticated prop from the movie ST:Nemesis I am going to look into selling. I'm not ashamed to say I'd take paypal if it keeps my kids involved int he fine arts.( cymoril3 at yahoo dot com) But most of all, share the fine arts with your kids or ones you know!

Unhappy Valley- Abuse, Sports, and Religion.

2011-11-29T13:08:00.001-08:00

I've always held organised sports in bad odour. Not just indifference or dislike but disdain and revulsion. Now, there are reasons I have always been able to point to. Sports players are paid ridiculous amounts of money in a society where teachers, firefighters, and many other people who do jobs that directly benefit others are underpaid. It's an example of us valuing the wrong people. Some sports are rather violent, and why glorify violence? High schools and colleges can be focused on sports to the exclusion or detriment of academics. Finally, I view professional sports as our modern equivalent of bread and circuses. Throw the gladiators into the arena and let them distract the masses from what's really going on. But that's not all.

As I cogitate on the wake of the Penn State tragedy I've some to a realisation, that my disdain is similar to one that some people seem to feel towards organised religion: that is't a set up so rife with and the potential for abuse that it would be better is people did it on their own in a less organised way. I know this is sure to offend my sport fan friends. I won't pretend this way of thinking is fair; just like religion, sports give many people joy, common ground, an opportunity to some together, a way to do good and to improve themselves. Recognising that my thinking is unfair, that is based on the "crashed airplane" method of reporting the news, is the first step toward being more tolerant. It's good to recognise that any bias you hold is probably based on incomplete information. Abuse is never acceptable and is usually proof there is need for more oversight...but don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. Recognise the good, and accept that any time *people* get together, in any format, care must be taken to protect the weak from those who would abuse power.

Occupy Holiday Shopping

2011-11-25T12:50:00.001-08:00

I know I'm not the only person to observe Black Friday today by writing a blog post about NOT shopping. But I think this year, more than ever, it's important to put out the word about occupying our holiday shopping.
I have been celebrating "Buy Nothing Day" for years now. I have felt that it's important to not buy into consumerist frenzy and the "selling" of Christmas. It's also nice not to get trampled or pepper sprayed. But this fall we have seen our economic crisis come to an explosive point, and I think that makes it even more important for us to think about what the way we spend our money does for our society. (not to mention the third world workers who were almost surely exploited to mass produce you flimsy, environmentally damaging "killer deal")
I support the Occupy protesters, as they put an important public face on what's wrong with our economy. But the real change will be in the everyday.
What can you do TODAY to support the 99% rather than the 1%?

You can buy nothing This one is pretty easy. Stay home, eat pie, watch movies with your loved ones...relaxing!

Buy Local Shop at local, independently owned businesses instead of chain stores. Don't worry, many of them will have Black Friday sales too.

Pay cash If you really want to occupy, don't buy anything on credit. Cutting up your credit cards and only paying for what you can afford may be tied for the number one thing you can do to cut the knees out from under the 1%.

Fire your bank If you haven't already, switch all your money from banks to credit unions ( and use the move as an opportunity to trade in your credit card for a debit card)

Halloween photos!

2011-11-04T15:20:00.000-07:00

Livie grew this herself.

"Gorramit girl, it's me!"

"I am a broody, lurky Angelcakes."

By the way, the ones that would look like they were taken at a comic book store were taken at Fantasium Comics and Games . If you live in the South Puget Sound area you won't find a better locally owned comics and games store. Check them out!

Halloween, All Saints, and Pagan holidays

2011-11-03T16:11:00.000-07:00

Halloween is just past, and I had hoped to write this leading up to Halloween. However, I was too busy getting costumes ready, making icky potluck dishes, and spending way too much to make sure all the candy my family ate was all natural to get around to it.
Some people, including a few friends of mine, choose not to celebrate Halloween. Most of them are conservative Christians; a few have other religious beliefs but I'll be focusing on the Christian outlook.
Before I go any further I want to offer a disclaimer. I'm not judging why or if someone celebrates Halloween or not, nor am I trying to convince anyone to my viewpoint. I'm really just thinking aloud. (However, if you say you avoid Halloween and then have a "Harvest Party" the last week in October complete with candy and costumes...um, sorry, but you ARE doing Halloween)
The two main reasons I see for not celebrating Halloween are because it a) a Pagan ritual and b) dark and or death focused.
Which is true on both counts.
Let's look at A. Halloween is a commercialization of the Pagan celebration, Samhain or All Hallow's Eve. Therefore a person whose religion tells them to avoid Pagan celebrations would have a good reason to avoid Halloween.
And- Christmas celebrations (Feast of Saturnalia) Valentine's Day ( Lupercalia) and Easter (Eostre) .
Most of the Christians I know who don't do Halloween do one or all of those holidays, usually in a similar manner to the rest of society. And why not? Trees, wreaths, candy in stockings, heart shaped candy, eggs, egg shaped candy..all awesome and fun.
I wonder if the underlying reason Halloween gets picked on is....B. The holiday celebrations we take from the Pagan celebrations of Saturnalia, Lupercalia, and Eostre are life affirming. But death...now that's something we like to avoid at all costs in our society. So it makes sense that some will look at a holiday that looks death straight in the face as "evil".
In the Christian tradition,the day after Halloween is All Saint's Day. Given that it's the day after All Hallow's Eve, we can tell it's more of the co-opting of Pagan ritual. But, I think that no matter which day you observe (or both!) we need that day. We need to look death in the face and we need to celebrate the beloved departed.
I'd rather do it all together.

Don't die that way

2011-09-26T15:24:00.000-07:00

Over the past 4 years I have lost about 60 pounds. I have cured myself of arthritis, asthma, and IBS. In the process I have cut way back on portions, eliminated or almost eliminated dairy, most grains, most nuts, legumes, and all processed foods.
As anyone who has made major lifestyle changes for the better knows, it's hard when your loved ones keep doing the same old same old with the same old results. Not too long ago, my husband likened me to a religious fanatic.
I was recently able to explain myself to him. My mother dies at the age of 52 from "complications of heart disease and diabetes"- my family's warm and fuzzy way of glossing over the fact that she told my grandmother she wanted to die, stopped taking her insulin, and ate an entire box of peppermint patties.
Her body was found 3 days later.
(And when anyone, even someone as distressingly sane as myself realises that her mother committed death by chocolate, 10 minutes of hysterical laughter WILL ensue, and not the good kind of hysterical).
I think my husband understands better now why seeing him eat a meal that includes bread AND potatoes AND
beer AND dessert it makes me frantic. Yes, we all have to die someday, but some ways are worse and a diabetes related death is a terrible way to go, for the person dying and their family. Don't do it to yourself and your loved ones.

A dear friend is watching her mom struggle with lung cancer. She is begging everyone she knows who smokes to please, please quit. Lung cancer is a terrible way to go, for the person dying and those who love that person. Would people ever start smoking if they knew the potential to bring those they love such pain? Never smoking, or quitting if you do, may be the kindest thing one can ever do for themselves and their loved ones.
Please, for those who love you if not yourself, take care of yourself and keep life affirming habits.

Zombies!

2011-09-22T14:14:00.000-07:00

If you know anything about me, you know that two important parts of my identity are my Lutheranism and my love of Star Trek.
Also, I think zombies are pretty cool.
You can imagine I was pretty pleased when I got both Night of the Living Trekkies and The Zombies of Lake Woebegotten for my birthday. Talk about imagining yourself in the zombie apacolypse.

Night of the Living Trekkies is a blood soaked romp through the Botany Bay hotel, host to GulfCon. When the dead start rising, hotel security guard Jim Pike and a band of roving nerdy survivors must rely on lessons learnt from Star Trek- and a replica weapon or two-to survive. How much did I like this book? I've decided to go as a zombie Trekkie to the upcoming GeekGirlCon . All in all, it was the faster read and more enjoyable of the two. As a parent, I'd rate this PG-13, which in my case means I'd let my 12 and 14 year old read it.

Zombies of Lake Woebegotten takes place in a parody of that fictional town of average but special people, where everyone one is Lutheran or Catholic, the men are beautiful and the women are strong. I strongly identify with the get it done aspect (of course. It's been said of me that I "Put the work in Protestant work ethic"), but also with the Lutheran pastor who finds the starker, black and white, violent world of the post zombie apocalypse. I'd say this book leans more to the R rated, and would not let my kids read it.

Faleo (very TMI)

2011-09-19T13:02:00.000-07:00

I must be doing something wrong.

For most of the 6-ish months I have been doing paleo, I've felt great. All my arthritis symptoms gone. No asthma. Body reshaping, although I have only dropped a few pounds. I have felt fantastic and full of energy.
Then, my last period. I always get constipated at that time, so nothing unusual. But when my period was over I still couldn't poop. It took a couple days of pushing water, fruit and Vit C every couple hours to have a poop.
Now, this month. Last day of period, Friday. By Sunday I had not pooped since the day before my period. Now one thing I will say about what my lifestyle has done for my periods....they are shorter (5 days instead of 6-8) but more intense. I also don't have the hormonal swings so severely- and that includes almost none of the hot flashes and sleeplessness I was having with my periods.
Saturday night I lay in bed in pain from constipation. It was radiating up my side so much I wondered if I was having heart issues! Sunday, with our chili dinner, I actually had pinto beans, something I have not eaten or wanted for months. I did poop some this morning, but still feel that hard lump in my intestines. I've been eating fruit and carrots, pushing the Vit C again, and had another bunch of beans with lunch. I'll be keeping them out again now, but may consider a few servings of black beans only during my periods, to keep things moving.
In addition, I'm having arthritis pain in my hand, a sore throat, clogged ear, and feel yeasty. And gained three pounds over the weekend.
I know for sure some things I have been doing wrong.
Too much animal fat. I'm going to go back to tossing the fat from meat I cook and cook with olive oil. As tasty as schmaltz and lard are, I really think they are the cause of the "Oooh, my heart" feeling I have on and off.
Too much sugar. I know that contributes to several of my issues. Going to bake NOTHING for a few weeks.
Letting too many grains creep back in. I've stayed gluten free but am eating too much rice/rice flour baked goods/ corn chips. I'm going to go back to limiting myself to a little rice maybe twice a week.

My focus is going to be to make the changes that eliminate my pain and discomfort, and trust that in the process those pounds will come back off. Here's hoping I'm back to good in a couple days!

10 years later

2011-09-11T14:05:00.000-07:00

If you're reading this, there's a good chance you remember where you were ten years ago today. What you were doing when you heard that two planes had been flown into the World Trade Center. My husband had heard it on the early NPR broadcast, before leaving for work. He woke me up to see the news.
I didn't believe him at first.
I spent that day glued to to TV news (which I still had back then) and popping over to the computer to converse with my natural parenting friends about the events.
People act out of fear and hatred and we respond in kind and here we are ten years later, at war. The war has lasted longer than my youngest child has been alive, and my other two don't remember a time when we weren't at war.
And all over the internet, I see people who are sure that other peoples' innate wrongness is to blame. Lack of patriotism, too much nationalism. Godlessness is the cause, religion is the cause.
Which is really ridiculous, because 99% of humans manage to be patriotic or not patriotic or religious or not religious, every day, without doing another violence.
But as long as we persist in labeling people the other and then demonizing them and laying blame, we are making sure the ground work stays laid for another tragedy like this.
This kind of violence comes from one place : fear. And I would say from the greatest fear we all share...that what we have will be taken from us. Our homes, our families, our lives, our culture, our way of life. When we feel too threatened, we act like desperate, cornered animals. And it's nice and tidy and makes us feel good to note how the "wrongness" of the "other" led them to do that.
We tend to do that from the position of never having been the cornered animal, all the while never believing that we are making things worse.
There's this guy I know who once said we should love our neighbors as our selves. The thing is that for good or ill, I think we already do. For some that means running into a burning building to save lives and for others that means making that building burn in the first place, and when the latter is the outward expression of one's inner regard, one's fear, then we must ask ourselves what needs that person had that we could have met.
Let's honour the dead today by setting aside all hatred, by refusing to ever demonize another group of people, and by rededicating ourselves the work of seeing that all our fellow humans have their needs met.

Full schedule!

2011-09-09T21:04:00.000-07:00

I want to apologise to my dear readers for not updating recently...I've been busy turning 39 and getting our school year started. I want to get a longer post going next week when we've had a chance to dip our toes into all our activities and get all our online courses going, but here are a few highlights. Things are so busy that we already had our first scheduling conflict- Gothgrrl missed her first kendo class because she is on the 7th grade new confirmands cruise. (by the way, the boys were not expecting their first class to be learning how to sit, kneel, stand up and walk-without getting a shenai yet). Turbo is in ballet, tap, kendo, and bell and vocal choirs. Gothgrrl is in confirmation, bell choir, kendo, and in October ballroom dance. The Boy is doing confirmation and kendo. I love being back into the swing of our classical schooling. So far ( two weeks, ha!) I've been successful at keeping us on track with the literature! The older two will both be doing science and French online through Apex, so we're waiting for those classes to get processed. So far they have also both been great about getting their work done and even diving in with enthusiasm. I've been getting the greatest reward: The Boy telling me several times what a great job I'm doing as a teacher and thanking me for homeschooling him. Funny story...on the way home from confirmation orientation this Wednesday, he was saying that he didn't mind any of his classes so far except art history, which is dumb. The DM said "That's just sad, art history was my favourite subject in college".
The Boy: "Well Dad, where did Latin and Greek fall on your list of favourite classes?"
The DM : "I never took Latin or Greek".
The Boy ( with all the deep respect with which our children always speak to us) "Gee Dad, that's just sad".

When being poor sucks more

2011-08-16T15:53:00.000-07:00

Being poor always sucks, but some weeks more than usual.
When we heard the van needed a brake job, we didn't get it at first and the DM told me to research new ones. I did, and then he changed his mind. He thought they were 1/2 what they actually cost. Oy. So now the piece of go-se van is in the shop, getting several months of car payments poured into it's brakes.
It's the week we had to pay for camp for the eldest two, too. Now, our church has camperships and money is never a reason for a kid to miss camp. Unless they have a foolishly proud parent. The DMs rule is we have to pay 1/2, and if we can't they don't go. (Yes, I sometimes " take care of " a camp when I *know* we don't have that 1/2. )
So this week I'm brushing my teeth with baking soda so the rest of the family can use toothpaste and it will still last all week. And filling the old 32 oz yogurt cup we put the ends of bars of soap into with water to make soap sludge to wash the laundry with. And thanking God I can hang laundry, and that my neighbour sent over two dozen eggs because OMG YAYS not having to buy more eggs means I can buy tampons, even though I feel guilty when I use them instead of the pads I made from the cloth diapers we used to put on our kids. (But, exercise and all).
I'll never bother with the lottery (more throwing good money after bad) but when we bought our new stove we entered a contest to win $2500 . And I entered a thing on Target to win a $500 gift card, and it also seems that since we have Farmer's insurance we're claimants in a 445 million class action suit. I'm really praying one of those will somehow represent any small break for us.

Bro-Jitsu

2011-08-14T16:02:00.000-07:00

As parents, we may have any number of reasons for not wanting our child to read a particular book. It may be that the book is too adult for them, is not in line with our values; or it may fall into the "let's not give them any ideas category". In the latter category falls Daniel H Wilson's Bro-Jitsu: The Martial Art of Sibling Smackdown .
Of course, this is faulty thinking. If you have more than one kid and at least one of them can walk, Bro-jitsu is already being practised in your house. The only question is; how successfully. Or how you define success. I'm tempted to say that if your kids have ever sent one of their siblings to the ER, they have not been sufficiently disciplined in their practise of this age old martial art (yes, both of my boys has sent the other to the ER). In that case, you may WANT your kids to read this book.

Maybe not Zen. Or my own kind of Zen.

2011-08-11T13:17:00.000-07:00

I don' think you could say I'm very Zen, unless you're talking about the kind of Zen where you find spiritual fulfillment from the repetitive motion of sweeping the floor, raking the leaves, knitting the knits and purling the purls.
I am very much one of those decried "human doings". This creates a few awkward social situations for me ( as if you didn't already know I'm "differently social". In the same way Sheldon Cooper is, though I'm better at hiding it.)

One is when people tell me to relax. Sometimes this is just as a matter of course, sometimes it's when I'm a guest somewhere and I ask what I can do to help. Most people will assume I'm just being polite (of course, I DO think it's polite to ask your host if you can do anything to help) and they will return the socially required response of "No, no , you're my guest. Just relax! " .
But, I also offer to help because not being useful and helpful is stressful for me. And when someone tells me to relax (in any context) that ratchets up my stress level. This is even so in impersonal situations, such as when listening to a message where the pastor is talking about relaxing.
So please , never tell me to relax.

The other social awkwardness is when someone tells me about their day in which they totally relaxed and accomplished nothing all day (!) Often said with a certain sense of pride, like it was the same as finishing a triathalon. Now, I usually end up saying something like "Uh-huh" because what I recognise as they appropriate social response is at war with what would be an authentic response.
There's a reason my favourite hobby produces a tangible product.

What not to do.

2011-08-06T12:05:00.000-07:00

Don't
celebrate you lowest weigh in since that time you were sick last year and couldn't eat for 6 weeks
.....by going out for Mexican, including the biggest margarita I have ever seen
(NB, it was a casa margarita, and we stopped after the first bowl of chips, so...go us)
...try on swim suits
...decide to instead reward yourself with a microwavable facial waxing kit that you got for $5
...watch Sharktopus
...actually read one of those weight charts, see why that trying on a swim suit thing was so disappointing AND that you have about twice as far to go than you had convinced yourself, which does not actually surprise you.
...and finish your day, or rather start the next day, by waxing your lip and brows in a steamy bathroom at midnight.

DO...
...celebrate that the previous night's indulgences do not have appeared to derail you, re-commit to your goals, and recognise that no matter how healthy the food you are eating, a 5'1@ woman needs to cut back a bit.

My goodness, I have NEVER done this before

2011-08-02T12:29:00.000-07:00

This summer, the kids, most especially the boys, have NOT been getting along at all.
I think there are several factors in play here.
One has been a summer that is unusually cold and wet, even for the Pacific Northwest. Double whammy- the kids have been inside, and The Boy has been less likely to go visit his friend J across the street, because J is not allowed to have friends in the house while his mom is at work .
And.
This spring I had to decide to ban Turbo from playing with his neighbourhood friend. I really thought that if I Did the Right Thing and was a Good Neighbour,it would be good for both boys and I could be a positive, loving (not to mention supervisory) influence on a kid who is sure to have a police file at some time. This backfired on me big time, and to make a long story short and intentionally vague, I had a neighbour threaten to call the police on Turbo for something Stinky had done (I know Turbo didn't do it because he was at the table, doing schoolwork at the time). Another double whammy-he's mixing it up with his siblings instead of playing with a kid his own age, and I can't threaten to ground him to keep him in line.
Aaaand...since the only person Gothgrrl used to hang out with in the neighbourhood is Stinky's older sister, it's created a rift means they rarely see each other. I do think GG decided on her own that the family was bad news, and even had to make excuses to herself to justify drifting away from a friend.
So. My kids. Stuck inside the house, together, with naught but the occasional chore to distract them from going bro-jitsu on each other, bad.
So yeah, judge me if you like, but my kids will start school early, and if they have the same kind of months long back to school adjustment period as last year, no Christmas break. But if you do judge me, I invite you to come send a day doing my job.

Muwahahaha!

2011-08-01T15:40:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading The Mad Scientist Hall Fame:Muwahahahaha! : a book much enjoyed by my whole family. The book is co-written by Daniel H Wilson, the genius (and I do mean genius) who brought us Where's My Jetpack and How to Survive a Robot Uprising and psychologist Anna C Long; and illustrated by Daniel Heard. The Mad Scientist Hall of fame contains both real and fictional scientists, separated into six categories; Bent on World Domination,Intrepid Explorers of the Great Abyss, Communicated with Space Aliens, Performed Human Experiments, Died in the Name of Science, and Not Mad, Just Angry. Scientists are rated on both madness and genius, on a scale of one to five. Like every book of Wilson's, you get a mixture of humour and education. I was fascinated to learn of Trofim Lysenko, whose antisocial personality disorder may have set Russian science back a century. Another interesting fact; two fictional characters-Herge's Professor Calculus and Captain Jean -Luc Picard were an homage to real life explorer Auguste Piccard and his twin brother, Jean Felix. Of course no self respecting book about mad scientists would be complete without a quiz to determine one's own mad scientist potential. My score 23 on science and 18 on mad, putting me in the Moderate /Good range for both categories.

When you let your kids watch Big Bang Theory

2011-07-27T13:18:00.000-07:00

Last night I made beef roast with Spanish rice and yams for dinner. My 14 year old looked at the food askance, took a slice of beef, tasted it.
"Wow, this is actually pretty good. Have a nickel".
Then my 12 year old asked, "If I eat rice, do I have to have yams?" When I said no she gave me 11 cents.
Then the 14 year old made his fatal error and asked my husband how much the turbinado seat salt cocoa almonds at Trader Joes are.
"Hey, you kids are trying to operant condition me!"
The 14 year old tried to claim in a too innocent voice that he would NEVER do anything that devious.
Later, while kicking back with some Quantum leap with the older two, my husband served them brownies. Delicious, gluten free walnutty browies. Before heading off to bed, the gothgirl came out and gave him a penny. He looked at me, confused. "You gave her a brownie. She's conditioning you to keep doing that."
The pennies don't do it for me but if they lay in the cocoa almonds....? It would totally work.

Climate of Change by Piers Anthony (adult content warning)

2011-07-26T13:24:00.000-07:00

Climate of Change is the fifth and final book in Piers Anthony's Geodyssy series. I've been reading them since Isle of Woman came out, which will be no surprise to those know know my interest in the evolution of man. Not just the nuts and bolts, but what PEOPLE did as they evolved both physically and culturally...how could we have in fact influenced the path of our own evolution through our actions? That's led to me reading everything from popular science such as the Leakey's People of the Lake , to Jean Auel's Children of Earth series. Being familiar with Anthony's work, and this series in particular, I knew that this book would include quite a bit of what I call "paleosmut"; I term I coined thanks to Auel's work. (Although the Geodyssy books go up through modern times and into the near future)
Now, I'll digress a minute and say this. I'm a grown up, and I sometimes read books with sex. And my attitude toward sex in the books I read is...indifferent. I don't seek out books for the sex scenes, and I don't get all holier than thou and refuse to read books with sex. But...I am less indifferent when the scenes involve rape or pedophilia. That will usually have me putting the book down. This time I didn't.
Why? I've read enough of Anthony's work to be familiar with the dirty old man the shines through in almost every book he writes, no matter how oblique or graphic the sex is. He very much favours young (underage, even) nubile women who flaunt their bodies and find gratification not through their own pleasure, but by pleasing men. I stopped reading Xanth years ago, even though that was the more oblique end. However, the Geodyssy series is a more scholarly work that ties into one of my long standing interests. I have to say that the main reason I finished this book was the sense of completion...it's the last book in a series I had devoured, despite the lopsided sex and cannibalism. (In a series with this much sex, you'd think that being squicked out by penis eating would mean you were talking about oral sex. Nooooo....that would have been a mercy). That, and so I could review it for you. Prehistory and history buffs may still find plenty in the book to enjoy it, but if rape in almost every chapter coupled with a certain amount of incest and pedophilia turns you off, you're better off leaving it on the shelf.

This book is Overdue! How Librarians and Cybrarians Can Save Us All

2011-07-23T14:33:00.000-07:00

Love your librarian? I do, and so does author Marilyn Johnson. In today's fast paced digital world, our librarians are more important than ever. They are forging ahead on the digital frontiers, learning how to navigate it, and then acting as living, breathing GPS units for library patrons- free of charge. This is incredibly important in a time when people are losing their jobs or are being downsized, and need technology to help them get ahead; when parents can't afford the digital resources their children need to succeed at school. All the while librarians are continuing to archive the past, integrating technology and good old paper storage, and oh, protecting our right to have our library records remain private.
Our librarians have always been important, and now they are more valuable than ever. Read this book in honour of your favourite librarian. Mine is Friendly Neighborhood Librarian , who was my kids' storytime librarian for years and continues to be in their lives as they have long been reading novels.

http://heyread.blogspot.com/

Why pro life is not always about religion.

2011-07-14T12:48:00.000-07:00

My mother was a mentally ill, indigent poor woman in an abusive relationship when she got pregnant with me. When she was 3 months pregnant she started bleeding, and her docs told her to get a D&C because "if your child's still alive it will be so deformed you'll wish you'd never given birth" . She had me any way, I wasn't deformed (I did have turned in ankles that required braces for a few months, and later corrective shoes). Yes,I was raised poor, and my father was abusive. But you know what? I've always been DAMN happy to be alive and that's made me anti- abortion; because according to pro choice wisdom the chance of someone like me being born is the reason for abortion rights. And BTW, I have not repeated the past- I've been married 18 years, own a home, held down the same job for 13 years, and have three beautiful intelligent children who think "abuse " is broccoli for dinner.

I do know a handful of agnostic or atheist pro lifers. Like many people with a strong opinion one way or another, their reason are often very personal. And one thing I can say....they tend to be even more dogmatic about their pro life position than religious pro lifers. I don't know if it's because with no belief in a soul they see the death of the fetus all fully permanent, or if no belief in a deity means they see no one for a woman who regrets her decision to ask forgiveness of. Or some reason I can't fathom, and /or a combination thereof.

What rocks about having a goth child

2011-07-11T14:10:00.000-07:00

During my teens and most of my adulthood, one of the style playgrounds I loved to play on was Goth. I don't call myself Goth because I like other style playgrounds too...as the mood or situation inspires me.
This is a good thing for my middle child and only daughter.
I clearly remember the day she made a complete 360 and embraced her gothness. At the time she was 9, and still into the pink frilly princessy stuff she had been into since she could walk and point- My Little Ponies, Disney princesses, and princess gowns. We had gone on a yard sale walk on a sunny Saturday, just the two of us. We came upon a moving sale with a pile of Halloween tchothchkes. The girl wanted them, and she was offered the bag for a dollar. Given that she has a tiny room in a small house, I asked her what she was going to get rid of to have all that stuff. Without reservation she replied, "My bin of Ponies!"
Deal!
Over the next month, the Ponies weren't the only thing to go. Princesses, pink dresses, it all went, replaced over the course of that yard sale summer with black clothes and old Halloween decorations.
She's 12 now, more goth than ever, and we're still having fun with it.

So now, for the skeptical, who want to know why a parent should ever encourage their child in being Goth; who think that their Goth child will be evil, depressed, and prone to suicide, I'll tell you why. (By the way, the latter part of that sentence represents the very silliest of thinking)

Most importantly, sunscreen

While other kids are out tanning, your gothling will be in the shade, slathered in sunscreen, trying to be as pale as possible (As you can see, my babybat just got the wrong genes for that). Isn't it nice knowing you kid won't be prone to melanoma?

Black

It goes with everything.

If you've ever seen your kid emerge from their room in the morning and have to bite back a "Did you dress in the dark, with your eyes closed?" you'll appreciate this.

Justin Bieber and Hannah Montana

I DARE you to find a gothling that listens to them!

Gift giving made easy

I, and a couple of family friends, know the best day of the year to buy my gothling's Christmas and birthday presents. November 1st, the day all the Halloween stuff goes on sale for 70% off (take note). If you miss that, and you get an invite to a Goth kid's birthday party, go grab a few jars of black nail polish. Trust me, it's a sure thing.

Classic Literature

How many kids will choose to get collections of Poe from the library to read over the summer? Your babybat will, and if you're awesomely lucky she'll decide to translate The Raven into Latin.

Also Most Importantly

Your kid needs your love, acceptance, and the ability to try on different personas in a safe way. You, the parent, are the one who needs to provide that. I DO believe investing in some black nail polish and crushed velvet (or whatever it is your kid wants to enjoy) now will benefit your life long relationship, and maybe keep them from going out and going wild as older teens and adults because they had no chance to explore who they are at home. Give them this gift. Let your kid pick your clothes sometimes, and bond with them.

Magic (tm) as a parenting tool

2011-07-10T14:20:00.000-07:00

No, sorry to say, I have not found a spell that will make your children clean their rooms. (By the way, Jedi mind tricks don't work on kids either). I'm talking about the collectible card game, Magic The Gathering .
The Dungeon Master and I had been playing Magic since Limited (though we started collecting cards with Unlimited) and when we started having kids, we had to put the cards away most of the time, for a while. But not completely. We started the kids on the game early, and you could say they've grown up on the game every bit as much as Godzilla and Star Trek. I've found playing Magic with your kids has a slew of benefits:

The best part of playing is playing together We all know that, and Magic is more interesting than Sorry and less protracted than Monopoly.

It encourages literacy and math skills You can't really play without some basic math and reading skills. A custom built deck was the reward we gave each of our kids for gaining these skills. I think this is great incentive for any kid that learns math and reading typically. Aided play seems to have some potential for the kid with learning challenges.

It's face to face social In a world where such connections are decreasing, this is golden. Our kids don't play Magic online, and I hope as adults they chose the local comic store to that.

It makes gift giving easy Kid having a birthday? Everyone gets him Magic booster packs? Great! Of course that also makes it easier when my kids' friends play Magic, too.

They want to earn cards New expansion? Buy a bunch of packs, and watch your kids clamour to do chores for you. When New Phyrexia came out, I didn't fold laundry for three weeks.

It keeps them busy As your kids become teenagers, you'll be thrilled that they're hunched over a table in a smelly comic store back room instead of out drinking, experimenting with drugs, and sleeping around.

You will never run out of things to talk to your kids about Ever. Trust me on this.

Biblical Parenting, the next phase

2011-06-24T16:26:00.000-07:00

When I was new to the internet and to mothering, the subject of parenting styles was a big topic of conversation, which is to say, the same kinds of conversations the US and the USSR had during the Cold War. The stakes were only upped when you brought faith into it. If you were a Christian (or knew one, or thought you knew how we thought...) the question came down to: "Will you be a Christian parent like the Pearls or the Ezzos, with the sleep and meal scheduling, the crying it out and the baby hitting, or will you be like the Sears, with the extended co sleeping, the child led breastfeeding, and the gentle discipline?" Of course it's not usually as black and white as all that, but when you're a new parent, cut off from family, desperately looking for direction, it SEEMS that simple.
The Bible says little about parenting; much less than most Biblical parenting pundits would like you to believe. But it has a lot to say about how we as Christians are to treat people- with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self-control. What parenting philosophies bets express the fruit of the Spirit?
If you know me, you know I came to the latter conclusion; that God made us to parent with love and answer our baby's cries. Sadly, I came to another conclusion; that most people who used the label "Biblical Parenting" were people I didn't want to be associated with.
The years passed. My kids grew. The question of co sleeping and breastfeeding passed, as they gave up those things in their own time, and the new weird thing I was doing was homeschooling. And again, I was doing it differently than the other Christians- teaching my kids evolution, reading Harry Potter with them.... but more than that.
I was teaching my kids to question authority.
I always have to suppress a laugh when people feel compelled to point that out to me. If some one knows me, the fact that I teach my kids to question authority and to accord respect based on one EARNING it, not on the numbers of years or they position they have over them, should be obvious. That's how *I* roll and I would never be so hypocritical as to teach my kids to blindly follow when I refuse to.
A few months ago, a friend from church and I were talking about the challenges of raising kids with intellectual freedom. The hardest part, as they got older, is not that they will defy you. (kids will do that anyway). It's that, at a young age, they will form well considered opinions that are different from YOUR well considered opinions. My eldest son believes in the death penalty, a great departure from my consistent life ethic (I kind of blame my husband for that one). My daughter believes that yeah, Rob Bell probably IS a heretic. And my friend's son? Hanging out with us has given him a more liberal attitude toward gays than his parents (I am pleased to say, I think this is in part because my kids have called him on homophobic things he's said over the years. He says those things a lot less now).

Now let me be clear; I teach my kids to be courteous and to follow rules. Following rules (with a Sheldon Cooper-like intensity) is also how I roll. But not to follow rules blindly. As a kid, I hated being told "Because I said so!" and I have never done that to my kids. If I have a requirement for them, I share my reason (no, they don't have to agree with my reason). Remember, while the Bible tells children to honor their mother and father, it also exhorts parents not to exasperate their children. And we should always be courteous to others; but because we are human beings, not because that person is older, or female, or...take your pick. I am often told at coffee shops and stores that my kids are "the most polite kids I've seen all day".( Of course, this is as much a negative commentary on society as it is a positive one on my kids.)
But unquestioning belief in what they're told? An inability to be civilly disobedient? Is this what the Christian parent of older children is to do? I would say no, and looking at history I'd say the opposite is true. I don't want nice little robots; I want to raise people who will gird themselves to fight for the justice the Old Testament prophets tell us to seek. I want to raise citizens with the courage of Martin Luther, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Dorothy Day, the Reverend Martin Luther King Jr. Raising kids who can defy an unjust society and speak truth to power is not easy. God knows. You have to be willing to be their educational experience. Are you up for it?

The start of summer vacation

2011-06-22T15:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, when it was actually sunny (!). Since it was the day of Andrew's show they washed off in the hose after painting.

Pictures and video from Andrew's dress rehearsal can be found here .

The end of the school year, and a milestone.

2011-06-17T17:55:00.000-07:00

Today was the last day of our school year...and it marked a big milestone, for myself, and my oldest child. I have now successfully home schooled a child from kindergarten to the beginning of high school.
Nine years ago, when my oldest child was a newly minted 5 year old, I did all the requisite research into sending him to kindergarten. the reading readiness guidelines said that my 5 year old should be able to recognise the alphabet.
At the time, he was reading "The Hobbit".
(It should be noted, none of my other kids did that. Matthew was exceptional, and unfortunately for the younger two, my husband thought he was typical)
I consulted with a friend who knew my children well, and who taught in our district's gifted programme. She told me that our district "can't meet the needs of a gifted kindergartner". (See why I didn't name names?) and that i should home school him until he could test into the gifted programme.
Needless to say, by the time the summer before his third grade year rolled around, I was sold on homeschooling for the long term. I had also recently discovered classical education, and was convinced an education lacking in Greek and Latin was, well, lacking. I also had to consider a middle child who was showing tendencies that would surely be labeled ADHD in the school setting. Having weaned myself off Ritalin at the age of 11 (without my mother's permission, and I waited a year to tell her. the fact that she never noticed a difference in my behaviour speaks volumes about either her, my diagnosis, or both), I was determined not to go down the medication road with any "ADHD" kids of my own. Keeping any kids in danger of that label seemed like the best course to me.
In the nine years since, I have refined my methods as I go. A few years ago we signed up with a virtual charter, which has been a godsend, paying for all our secular curriculum (our only religious subject in ecclesiastical Greek) and swim and dance lessons. I've discovered curricula that I love only to have kids out grow it. Next year will be a new experience in that both Matthew and Liv will be doing part of their coursework online. This will be the first year I'm not teaching everything and while I know it's the right thing to do, it feels strange.
And of course, I have seen my kids surpass me, which is the best reward.
I will never claim homeschooling is for everyone. I will admit there have been many many times I have wanted to give up and send some kid or other to school just so they would stop bugging the shit out of me. (yes, homeschooling parents feel that way). But yesterday, on the eve of the last day of my 9th year of homeschooling, I had a dream that my youngest child had gone to school part way through this, his third grade year. In the dream, I felt there was no going back and I would* have* to send him back to school next year. The sadness this thought gave me made me realise, that yes, we're still on the right path for us.

And on the subject of speaking a language the other can understand...

2011-06-13T14:50:00.000-07:00

Last Friday was the anniversary of The Boy's best friend's dad and step mom. This is my best guy friend, the older brother I never had. We hosted his son overnight so they could enjoy their evening with no worries. When he picked up Saturday, he told us about the time they had, including the rather expensive flowers he had delivered to her office. Sunday, we were all talking before the service. It seems it was The Girlfriend's birthday ( The Boy's girlfriend, that is) and I asked him what he had gotten her. He said that her sister told him just to make her a card. Incredulous looks. Really, son? This got the step mom and I talking about what gifts we do and don't like. Some of you know that earlier this year I told my husband to stop wasting money on flowers for me and get me things that are if not practical, at least something I can eat or knit up (I got $40 of Theo chocolate for Valentine's Day so...score) . She was saying that she wished she could get her husband to stop wasting money on flowers also, and start buying her kitchen tools. It was at this point of our conversation that my guy friend wandered back over, and asked for a recap.
Guy "But she loves flowers! She works in an office so those big bouquets give her bragging rights! All her office mates know what a thoughtful and generous husband she has!"
Me "But, were you listening? that's not what she just said. Maybe you should have a Kitchen Aid delivered to her office."
Guy "But then everyone will think she has a demanding husband that expects her to cook."
Me "Are these flowers for her, or to make you look good?"
No answer.
He really didn't believe me when I told him the best Valentine's Day present the Dungeon Master ever got me was a set of 10 pound hand weights. I use them almost every day, and I can't say that about any other V day present.
Today, I suggested to The Boy he look for presents for The Girlfriend. he thought all the ides his sister and I came up with - nail polish, earrings, a cute bracelet...were stupid. After being told that no, buying her present at the comic store was not a good idea, he decided on...some Theo. I guess he's still young enough to learn.

Now, I think it's kind of funny that this happened before I heard Pastor John's message about speaking to the world in a language in a language it can understand. I think couples may need to master that first.

Speaking the language of God's love to the world.

2011-06-12T16:14:00.000-07:00

Today is Pentecost, the birthday of the church. In our church, Grace Lutheran Church , we celebrate by reading in different languages, a "re-enactment" of the first Pentecost. Today Pastor John gave a wonderful sermon about speaking God's word, in words and actions, in a language the world can understand. God's language is the language of love, justice, mercy and acceptance. We speak this language very well at Grace.
There are those who would say that the church at large is not doing a very good job of speaking God's love. I can see, viewing the news, how it's easy to take that view. But as a lifelong active Christian, I can't agree with that view. My grandmother had a saying, often quoted while watching the news "The only airplanes you hear about are the ones that crash". In other words, just like an airplane that leaves on time and reaches it's destination safely is not headline news, people going about their lives being good citizens isn't either. The same goes for people of any, or no, spiritual path. I don't think ( as some Christians do ) that there is a liberal media conspiracy that wants to make Christians look bad. I think the news outlets just care about what sells. Christians doing what Jesus told us to do is not best selling news. Christians behaving badly is.
It saddens me that non Christians see people like Fred Phelps and Pat Robertson and think they are somehow representative of the faith. I'd love to see an article that says "Church helps food pantry process 2 1/2 tons of food in one morning, assists elderly in city who cannot do their own yard work and allow them to avoid a citation, sends team to Haiti to rebuild after earthquake, hosts AA, NA, and Al-anon meetings, provides free tutoring to at risk children and free dental check up and referrals to locals without medical insurance " . And that would be a slow week at Grace. Those are much better words than "Self proclaimed pastor pickets soldier's funeral because he claims acceptance of homosexuals is causing God to punish us with a war". These are the true words, the words the vast majority of Christians are speaking quietly, every day, all around you.

In which Ayla and Jondalar finish inventing everything (spoilers)

2011-06-08T12:38:00.000-07:00

I just finished The Land of Painted Caves : the sixth and purportedly last in Jean M Auel's Earth's children series. I first began reading this series in high school, with The Clan of the Cave Bear , picking each new book up as it came out and rereading the whole series every few years. I've always been fascinated with Paleolithic humans, and these books have always scratched my itch. Keeping that in mind, on to the review.
Painted Caves suffered from the same issue that every book since the first has suffered from- repetition. Not just in the form of repeated recaps from previous books, but recaps from earlier parts of the same book. Not the best way to keep a reader engaged. Auel could have cut 1/4 from each of these books if she left out repeated recaps and reminders of what had happened in the last chapter . It's almost like she was getting paid by the word. As always, Ayla and Jondalar serve us ultra perfect archetypes to encapsulate what was probably centuries of human discovery. The tedious descriptions of the main characters' perfect bodies grinding together perfectly have mostly been replaced by tedious descriptions of cave art (Ayla was too busy looking at caves and preparing to become a spiritual leader to get it on with Jondalar, which will cause serious problems for them). By the end of the book, our Paleolithic ancestors have discovered how babies are really made, and the almost inevitable concept of monogamy which must follow.
While I did find much of the book tedious, I also greatly enjoyed it. Auel's research is extensive and I have not found better pre-historic fiction. I found myself skipping some parts, including the times when we once again have to sit through the Mother's Song or the recitation of someones ties. Once per book is enough, please.
Interesting side note- after discussing with my husband the repetitiveness of these books, he suggested that it was possible he could read only the last book ( never having read the others, but having seen the movie ) and not have to read the whole series. Not sure of he'll do that, but could be an interesting experiment.

First snake of the year

2011-06-06T16:06:00.000-07:00

My kids and their friends love to catch snakes. They usually let them loose in our backyard, where we will see them from time to time, sunning after providing some ecological garden pest control. Matthew and his friend J caught a bigger than usual specimen today. I love the fact that at 14, they are out catching snakes rather than playing video games. Matthew learnt that even non- venomous snakes bite- yes, we are keeping it well disinfected. Now he knows how not to pick up a snake.

Welcome to the end of the world.

2011-05-20T12:48:00.000-07:00

Today is the day where I need to decide if I'm a good enough Christian to spend my last day on Earth eating Brie and croissants, or if I need to stay well to face the times of trial to come. There are two things keeping me from the noshing right now: the fact that I have, in the past month, been called a heretic by those who know me best, and the fact that I've watched too much Angel and Buffy to be overly concerned with another Apocalypse. If it IS coming, there are witty chaotic good folks out there with books and battle axes, preparing to save us all.
But say it does come. What will we be facing?
It was pointed out yesterday, by someone whose identity was probably quickly swallowed by the twitterverse, that RAPTURE sounds a whole lot like RAPTOR. The obviously means velociraptors, but don't forget, Raptors are also ships on BSG.
Add to this the fact that both This Old House and the CDC (yes, the CDC) just released Zombie apocalypse survival guides .
After discussing it with my family last night, the end is clear. God is going to send spaceships full of zombie velociraptors to torture atheists, heathens, and people who thought "Love Wins" was a great piece of theological writing, for some period of time; 100 days, 7 years, 21 years...something like that. Sheesh, people, I'm a Lutheran, how well do you think I've read the Revelation?
Which means my family just might be hosed. We took stock of our weaponry last night and it looks bad. I've got a short sword and some bodkins....and the pommel on the sword is missing (plus it's still safety tied into it's scabbard from Ren Faire last year). Brian's kukri might make a great beheading weapon..if it's short range didn't allow the raptor to slice him with it's zombified disemboweling claw. We'll do better with our garden tools...our wood splitting axe, chainsaw and long handled snips just might keep them in bay.
Sounds like I should prepare for the end of the world by kickboxing, not indulging in verboten noms. I'll keep my eyes on the cheese plate just in case, though.

Attitude is a lot...but it's not everything

2011-05-18T13:37:00.000-07:00

I hear this a lot: "Attitude is everything!" It's very true that how we react to out life is often within our control. However, I do know people who believe we can magically make our reality better with the right attitude.
And that may be true for some people, but it's simplistic to say that automatically works for everyone.
There's a certain type of person that is most true for, and that group of people is well educated white males with no disabilities and a stable family of origin. These are the people with the best choices in our society. The more you deviate from that demographic, the more likely your choices will be less good will be.
Right now, someone reading this is saying, "You're just being defeatist and looking for excuses!" Before you commit that in writing, check yourself against the above demographic.
Recently, on a message board I'm on, a member posted about buying a bottle of vitamins, and noticing after he'd opened it and started using it that one of the fillers was a suboptimal ingredient. His question- do I toss it, or use it up? The consensus was use it up and choose better next time. My vote too, but I made the mistake of saying that I couldn't afford to spend $15 on vitamins and then not use them. The original poster responded that (basically) if I was poor I had put myself in that position due to a lack of positive thinking.
Insert rude suggestion here.
I'm working poor. I hate being poor. It causes me much anger, sadness and resentment. But with the choices in front of me- as a woman from an unstable, welfare poor background, with three kids, with little formal education, with a husband who came from working poor and finds staying there easier than trying ( and who is too damnfool proud to let us get food stamps or any benefits we are eligible for)....for where I am, I have made the LEAST BAD choice I can. being poor SUCKS BIGTIME, but it beats putting my kids in school, trying to look for a job in this economy, getting paid squat because that's what a few credits at Cc get you, paying for aftercare for one of my kids out of pocket (remember my husband's pride?) and THEN, because I am a responsible parent, coming home to try and cook a meal from scratch while spending almost as much time as I would spend on a day homeschooling my kids to help them with their homework. While I would never try to say others should make the choice I have, I know I have made the least bad choice I can for my family at this time. Yes, I own that. Yes, if I'd made better choices 15 or 20 years ago, I might have better options to choose from now. But please, don't insult me by telling me I can turn it all around and be suddenly not-poor with the right attitude, or that if I don't I never get to complain.

Have at thee, sir...(or ma'am)

2011-05-16T13:56:00.000-07:00

One thing my children learn about in their grammar curricula is titles of respect. As both an early childhood education worker and mother of kids who have friends, whether or not these titles need to be used is an ongoing question. I always tell me kids, when meeting a new adult, to ask them what they want my children to call them. In my place of work, I always introduce myself as Jenna. If it becomes clear the child's parents want them to use a title of respect, I go with Teacher Jenna.
I am not always accorded the courtesy I require my kids to give other adults.
As for me, I want everyone and their kids to call me Jenna. Not Miss/Ms/Mrs Jenna, not Ms Carodsikey-Wiebe, and certainly not Mrs Wiebe. Most of my kids' friends DO call me Jenna. My two younger children however, have friends, siblings who are required to call me Miss Jenna. They are not allowed to call me what I wish to be called because that would be "disrespectful".
Of course, I have given some thought to why I want to be on a first name basis with everyone. In no particular order, here's why:
Equality Several types of equality come into play. Gender, age, socioeconomic.... If we still had a social convention of different titles for unmarried and married men as we do with women, I might have embraced Mrs. As we don't, I didn't, and find the first name basis a great way to avoid the use of a sexist title. I also do not hold myself to be better than children. Even though they may have to obey and take instruction from me, I am not *better* or more worthy of respect.

Formality Or lack thereof. I live in a pretty casual part of the country and that level of formality just feels *weird* to me.

Age It makes me feel old. I don't work out, eat superfoods, and moisturise just so some kid can call me ma'am (of fail to card me. whippersnappers.)

But most importantly,

Titles of respect can too easily take the place of REAL respect
Anyone who's read a book with dueling knows this is true.
And almost anyone reading this has experienced this in real life.
I prefer real respect, in the way people treat me.

What's your buy in to your way of eating?

2011-05-13T13:30:00.000-07:00

Everybody has a way of eating. It may be something like the standard North American diet, which includes a lot of packaged and fast foods and not a lot of fresh veg, or you may be a raw organic vegan. You may eat whatever you want as long as it's real food, follow a paleo diet, or be a lacto /ovo vegetarian. Your religion may have dietary restrictions (Note: I'm not counting food allergies or intolerance here, as they are not really a matter of choice). And many of us, whatever way we eat, have differing levels of compliance. I call this "buy in".
Let me give you a few examples. I have a friend who is a vegan, but eats eggs from her neighbour's chickens because she can see what they are fed and how they are treated. I have had more than one Jewish friend tell me that "Everything is a Chinese restaurant is kosher, even if it isn't". A former co-worker who was vegetarian would eat meat when she went on missions to Haiti, because their hosts were feeding her out of their poverty and she would not insult them by turning it down. I have been on a semi paleo diet for two months now, but when Mother's Day and Chocolate Sunday at my church co-incided, I got a lovely homemade whoopie pie and ate every bite (with the help of a Benadryl) and I enjoyed it immensely
Since going down the paleo trail, I have of course checked out online communities related to that way of eating. I've seen the whole range of responses to noobs with questions, many of which are sure to just scare them off not just that board, but that way of eating altogether (If you somehow failed to miss this, this is true of everything An example:
Paleo Noob: I want to have some bread occasionally
Reply One : If you're going to have bread, get some really delicious stuff with all real ingredients from local artisan bakers. Make sure it's worth going off the plan!"
Reply 2-5 ALL BREAD IS EVIL WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE IF YOU STILL WANT BREAD!
And so it goes.
One thing I've figured out from reading other posts by different types of responders is- what brought them to eat the way they do? The most rabid ones tend to some from a place of obesity, diabetes, or other severe health problems, while the more accepting were doing pretty well to begin with, but for some reason eating this way clicked with them ( see how I've gone from the specific to the general here?)
So, what's your way of eating? Why do you eat the way? Why do you make the exceptions you make? I'd love to hear.

Coconut flax waffles (grain free/paleo)

2011-05-07T13:45:00.000-07:00

I made these using homemade coconut flour- I just tossed Bob's Red Mill unsweetened coconut flake in my spice grinder, which all the internet said not to do, but it turned out fine.

In stand mixer fitted with whip attachment, whip three eggs on high for about 5 minutes. Add 1 TBL melted or very soft butter. Reduce to low and add 1/2 cup coconut flour, 1/4 cup ground flax seed, 1 TBL honey, and 1/2 tsp each salt and baking powder. Bake in preheated waffle iron- makes two standard waffles. These are much more cohesive and taste more like standard waffles than the almond meal pancakes I've been making on paleo!

Ridiculously easy Mexican feast ( not for the authenticity fundies)

2011-05-05T20:24:00.000-07:00

Our Cinco de Mayo feast is over, and as tends to be the case when I'm making a huge amont of food, I looked to make it as easy as possible without sacrificing taste. This is not a feast for those overly concerned with authenticity, and those who are vegetarian or paleo will have to wade through-not to mention teetotalers- but I promise you will find something.

First, the beans: You need to start first thing in the morning. Empty a one pound bag of black beans into a pan and cover with water. Add a toss of baking soda, and soak til after lunch. Drain, and rinse thoroughly. Dump in one bottle of Negro Modelo and two bottlesful of water. If you don't drink, or you need to eat gluten free ( I will pay for this in the morning) you can just use water. Add about 2 TBL cumin powder, 1 TBL garlic, and 2 diced jalepenos. Simmer til supper, and salt lightly at the very end of cooking.

Next, start the mole. Chop and onion and 2 jalepenos. Throw in a large pan with a glug of olive oil . Brown while you cut up a standard chicken. Toss in the chicken pieces, 5 dried chiles,a 28 oz can of diced tomatoes, 1 TBL garlic, and one Theo chocolate Ghost Chile bar, broken in two. Toss on about 2 tsp cinnamon. Simmer for about an hour.
Now it's time for the rice. In a pan toss 2 cups rice, 1 28 oz can crushed tomatoes, 1 can of water, and 2 sliced jalepenos. Salt to taste- usually 1 tsp for me. Simmer for about 45 minutes.

While the food cooks, it's times to make the guac. In your Cuisinart, toss 3 avacados, 1 bunch cilantro, 4-6 cloves garlic, juice of one lime, salt, and a jalepeno. Process. Yum.

The last think to make is the margaritas. Start by putting a glass for each imbiber in the freezer. For my husband and I we juiced 2 oranges and 7 1/2 limes. I also had 3/4 of a lemon I needed to use, so I tossed that in too and put it in the freezer til serving time.
When you're ready to party, salt your glasses. Add 1 cup citrus juice to each glass, and toss in three shots of 100 proof Tequila. We used 100 Anos.

The finished meal:

Grain free Decadence cookies (with Mexican variation)

2011-05-05T19:51:00.000-07:00

These cookies are based on Chocolate Decadence cookies by Alice medricM, modified to be gluten free.

Oven 350.

Melt in a double boiler, or in the microwave, 8 oz bittersweet chocolate and 2 TBL butter or coconut oil.
In bowl of a stand mixer, add the melted butter/chocolate mixture to 1/2 cup brown sugar and 1/4 cup almond flour. Mix briefly. Add 1/8 tsp salt, 1/4 tsp baking powder, and 1 tsp vanilla extract. Mix briefly. Add two large eggs and mix til just combined. To make these "Mexican", add 1 tsp cinnamon. This will add depth while still having a subtle flavour.
Use a cookie scoop to scoop out cookies onto parchment covered trays. Using a medium scoop you should get 26, if your family can keep their fingers out of your dough. Bake 12 minutes. Eat warm!

Love , indeed, wins

2011-05-05T12:59:00.000-07:00

So I have just finished chapter 7 of "Love Wins" I love what Bell has to say about heaven. It ties in very neatly with what I have felt since college. I remember telling a more "charismatic" Christian class mate that I wasn't a good evangelist because I just can't say *I* have the authority to define another's path. (And I know it may sound ironic for me to say that seeing as I work in children's ministry). I feel like I've been in a spiritual closet all my adult life and Rob Bell has given me permission to open the door.

I've found the book to be so incredible the whole way through, nodding my head over and over and saying to myself, "I have thought this for so long!" "I feel vindicated!" "Yes, thank you for articulating what I haven't been able to!"
So many accusations have been leveled at Rob Bell since even before the book came out- from so- called Biblical "literalists" that Bell is either a universalist or even a heretic, and from both them and from non- religious people that this is just an example for "cafeteria style" religion. I doubt the people who have said these things have actually read Bell's book the whole way through.From my reading of the book, nothing could be further than the truth. Bell is going to the root of the Gospel... the amazing, radical love of God through Jesus for every single person, whether those are the people we like, or think deserve the grace of God. God's love. For every one. No exceptions.

The best medicine

2011-04-29T14:44:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer- in my following post, I will be talking about people with physical discomforts, which they may be treating with medication. I am not qualified to speak on matters such as diabetes, cancer, MS, or any other chronic illness.

I'm taking a break from sharing my weight with you this week, in part for reasons any woman would understand. But I have been using that same reason as an excuse to eat sub optimally, and feel like crap for it, and that's what I want to talk about. I've been mostly paleo for about a month now, but cheated over Easter. My best friend brought over matzoh brittle. On Easter itself, my husband made pizza, because our nieces were visiting. And they brought pita chips. I ate all those things on Sunday. On Monday, I woke up with the runs. I want to note I *chose* to put all the foods in my mouth and do NOT blame the people who brought them around. No one can make you eat something.
Then, major PMS. I bought a pint of coconut milk ice cream and ate most of it. Yeast infection. And gassiness and bloating. Lots of bloating.
So here is what I know-
I have breathing if I consume dairy or peanuts.
Dairy and wheat give me the trots.
Too much sugar gives me yeast.
Logically, I must avoid these things as as much as possible, NOT eat them anyway then take albuterol, epinephrine, lactaid, Gas-x, Imodium and monistat to make up for it. I DO avoid the dairy and peanuts and I DO use an inhaler if I accidentally consume them, but for the other things, if I eat something I know I shouldn't I suffer the consequences, then think twice before eating it again.
I know, how un-American of me.
Here's the thing- for years before finally eliminating wheat, I told myself I did just fine on it. Then I give it up for a month, then I eat some, and I discover- no, I wasn't. I think many of us in first world countries are in that boat- we have NO IDEA what is affecting our bodies because we are used to being miserable, and/or used to popping a pill to counter act the things we shouldn't be eating. Sometimes it takes a few weeks to clue in. Even with people with no intolerance to real food- we ate so much artificial food products we've desensitised ourselves.
I would love to convince every one I know to take one month and eat ONLY real food- no dyes, no trans fats, no high fructose corn syrup. And I wish that an order of magnitude more for everyone popping antacids or anti-emetics on a regular basis, or for parents of a kid on ADHD meds. I know it's easier not to. Sometimes, some people find it easier to be miserable that make changes. But the benefits are worth it.

It's all good

2011-04-28T14:56:00.000-07:00

When some we know is in pain, we all have a way of lifting them up, according to our beliefs. Thoughts, prayers, vibes, candle lighting, pouring out libations on the ground.
And they are all good. Done in love, they are all good.
Yet sometimes we seem to be afraid to express what our beliefs lead us to do, as if we're afraid we may offend someone. As if loving people could be bad. As if it should matter what form another's thinking of you takes. If I am in need, I hope you'll share with me the ways you're lifting me up. Whether it's thoughts, vibes, prayers to whoever or whatever, lighting a candle, scattering herbs, or poring out libations, I would want to know, as the diversity of ways I'm being loved will lift me up.
(I do recognise that there are good and bad ways to pray for a person going through a rough time. Say a person has cancer. Telling them "I'm praying you'll find God in case you die"is BAD. Telling them you're praying for a miraculous healing is JUST NOT HELPFUL. Simply saying "I'm praying for you" is GOOD. If you live nearby, ""I'm praying for you and bringing dinner on Tuesday" is BEST.)

It's like the whole not wishing people a happy any holiday. Wishing another a good day when we're celebrating should never be fraught with worry. I remember a wonderful thing an atheist friend once told me; "I'm never offended if someone wishes me a Merry Christmas, Happy Easter, or any other religious holiday. As long as they're saying it with goodwill, I accept is as such and wish them the same. And then go on to have a good day."
Would that we could all accept others' goodwill this way.

Forging Identity

2011-04-27T15:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, as Livi headed out with her suicide blond hair and hand crocheted devil tail pinned to her skull and crossbones skirt, Matthew commented, "She looks like a dork with her hair and her pseudo goth clothes."
I told him to be nice (of course) and then went on to explain that her hair, her style, and her insistence she be called Livi instead of Olivia are all age appropriate ways she's trying to forge an identity separate from that of her parents.
"So, is it lost on her that you used to be goth, you never go more than a few weeks without touching up your roots, and you hated the name you were given so much you had it legally changed?"
"That's an irony we just don't have to share with her."

And while I have your attention- on Easter, as Matthew and I drove home from church together, he said "You know what's weird? I was looking through our 2002 calendar and right now you look a few years younger than you did then." <3

Fitness Friday 131, 31 inch waist.

2011-04-22T14:46:00.000-07:00

131 and waist 31 inches. I am down one pound and .25 inch! Pretty impressive with all the Easter candy making and baking. I'm going out to a brew pub woth my husband and nieces tonight...and I plan to stay paleo. Of course, being the DD helps there! I'll eat appetizers for my meal.
There's Easter weekend ahead of me...this could be challenging. My goal for next Friday is just to maintain. My fridge is full of greens so I plan to have salads for lunch all next week.

Some Easter treats that most can enjoy

2011-04-21T15:15:00.000-07:00

I hope this blog post doesn't find you too late. I've just finished making me Easter treats...treats that are free of dairy, grains, peanuts, eggs, and because my best friend is Jewish, they are Kosher for Passover.

Enjoy!

Chocolate Bunnies: You will need, 1/2 of a Trader Joe's pound plus bar in your favourite percentage (I use 72%) 1 TBL creamed coconut, bunny mold (I use Wilton's bunnies Whoopie Pie pan).

Melt the chocolate and coconut in a 2 cup or larger pyrex measuring cup, in a pan of barely simmering water. When melted, stir thoroughly and pour into the mold. Freeze for 20 minute then invert onto a clean dishtowel. Because the contracted in the freezer, they will slide right out. Yield :10 bunnies.

Coconut haystacks: You will need 3 cups flaked coconut ( I use Bob's Red Mill ) 1 Trader Joe's pound Plus Bar, and 3 TBL creamed coconut ( I use Let's Do Organic) and a medium cookie scoop.
Melt the chocolate and coconut, then stir in the coconut. When completely cool, scoop out and place on parchment lined baking tray. Keep cool. Yields 30.

Almond Butter eggs. These are the least healthy of the bunch, as they actually have added sugar. But after all, it's a holiday!
You will need: 1 cup almond butter ( 1/2 a 16 oz jar; no surprise, I get mine at TJ's!) 1/4 cup creamed coconut, and 1 1/2 cup powdered sugar and about a pound of chocolate.
In bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the mixing attachment, cream together the almond butter and coconut. Add the sugar 1/2 cup at a time- you may not need it all. Chill the dough at least an hour. Remove and shape into eggs, rolling inside a spoon the size of the egg you want. Lay on a parchment lined tray, and freeze at least two hours. Melt the chocolate and working QUICKLY, coat each egg in a very thick coat of chocolate. If you make it too thin you'll need to leave your eggs in the freezer- the center is very creamy at room temperature. Yields a baker's dozen. If you have leftover melted chocolate, pour onto a flat food storage container to make a bar!

Top Reasons I knit while watching TV

2011-04-20T13:45:00.000-07:00

I always knit or crochet while watching TV, and here are 5 of my top reasons. I invite my crafty sistren and brethren to add their favourites, though I think most of us will share the same number 1.

5 Smoking is icky, and I don't like to watch it. A character lights up, I can look down at my knitting

4 I'm not into sex scenes. While some of my fellow crafters may disagree with me here...to each their own... I find the cable I'm making much more enjoyable to look at that naked strangers.

3 Hands being cut. freaks me out. beheading? Fine. Paper cut on the hand? Can't watch.

2 Hypodermic needles. I could never watch Fringe without my knitting.

1 And the number one reason I always, always knit while watching TV? Never a wasted movie. You know that feeling , when you come to the end of a movie (one you hopefully streamed instead of paying $8 a head to see) and say, "That's 2 hours of my life I can never get back"? If you're a yarn crafter, you never have to say that. We may have watched the same crappy movie, but while the non crafter has only watched a crappy movie, the crafter is looking down and saying, "At least I got two inches of knitting done".

Parenting dangerously

2011-04-16T17:17:00.000-07:00

My kids eat raw eggs.
In fact, from the time my kids could eat the ingredients in cookies, I let them eat raw dough. With eggs.
This is just one way I parent dangerously.
Food is a hot button issue, and while I work assiduously to keep foods many consider standard out of our families diet, I also DO let them eat raw eggs. Unwashed berries they pick on walks.Dandelion greens from our yard. Ants.
With my oldest, I did the proper hippie mom thing when starting solids. I toasted organic brown rice in a cast iron skillet, ground it in a virgin grinder, and cooked it with my breast milk. He found it every bit as appetising as it sounds, and was soon eating from our plates.
My middle child's first solids came when we were at our then local produce mart, Cerbonne's, and she reached for a banana. They gave it to her, she ate it, and before the trip was over she had grabbed the similarly shaped jalapeno from a bin and scarfed that too. She loved it.
My youngest first solid food was ganache.

I let my kids climb trees, even though both my sons have broken arms in tree related instances (but only once, you'll note!) A few weeks ago Livi was in the tree in our front yard, when a woman who we had never seen before stopped her walk to cal up to her "You should get out of that tree. It's dangerous. You could fall and break something" Livi said, "I know, my brother broke his arm jumping from the tree two years ago". The woman gave me a disgusted look ( I presume for not making her get down) before moving on.
Oh, and unlike my husband, I DO let my kids hit each other with sticks (I try not to openly laugh at his belief that he can somehow stop them).

A few years ago, before the economy tanked, a great patch of greenbelt off the BPA trail was torn down to build some houses, which never got built. The pattern of hills has created a ravine where some unscrupulous people have started dumping larger trash. While out on a walk with the boys yesterday, they discovered a Little Tykes picnic table in that trash heap. They had a brilliant idea, pull it to the top of a hill, flip it upside down, and one would get on while the other pushed him down the hill. they entertained themselves quite a long time this way. With what they've done to the modern playground, they need to get their dangerous fun somewhere.

Fitness Friday- Slow Paleo

2011-04-15T14:22:00.000-07:00

Where I stand today: about 3 weeks into transitioning Paleo. 132 lbs, waist measurement : 31.25 inches

Once I started cutting things like grains out of my diet, I found it ridiculously easy not to eat them. I have only had grains twice in the last three weeks- barley in beef and barley soup at a church soup supper, and about 1/2 a bowl of popcorn yesterday (yesterday was all about stress eating and also included two sunbutter chocolate chunk cookies.) I've even been making my waffles with almond flour ( just mine, as no one else in the family is giving up grains and might riot.)
Legumes are another matter, which is why I do have come leanings toward slow carb rather than Paleo. I have run across a few paleo folks who still eat beans, as long as they make them themselves from dry and soak and drain them before cooking.
When I tried doing this first time around, I found I got shaky and nauseous and was hungry all the time. Following the suggestion that I might not be eating enough, I let myself eat as much as I wanted during the transition. And you know what I found- after a couple weeks I was hungry for much less. I rarely snack anymore. I make better choices with the things I do eat. I know some primal leaning folks with consider this heresy, but I don't view this way of eating as an excuse to eat all the bacon and butter I want. It may work for some, but I'm a small woman with a not so great metabolism, so I STILL need to be prudent. I have even found a few times where I was not or barely hungry at mealtime and ate (or not!) accordingly. While I haven't seen much fat burning boostage from this, there is a large body of evidence that intermittent fasting or calories restriction is a major factor in longevity (but that's another whole post). I'm going to eat a small, early supper tonight and not snack until brunch tomorrow.
My current exercise: On alternate days I do either 20 minutes of cardio and 20 of strength training (with 2 10 lb weights) or 22 minutes of cardio with a resistance band. I usually do 50 crunches both before and after my workouts. If it's nice I walk- and I can walk for hours. One thing I have read in several books is that fat burning is boosted by working out BEFORE breakfast- not an easy one for me. Even if I'm not really hungry when I get up, I am a creature of habit. It was hard enough switching from cereal for breakfast- not because I don't like eggs but because it was different. I have successfully put off eating til after my workout on two of my shorter workout days, and want to transition into making that the norm. I need all the boostage I can get.
That's all for this week- as I work on those last 5-10 pounds, I will try my best to consistently make my self accountable to you, dear readers!

Bored Games

2011-04-13T14:18:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make.
While I'm sure most people would consider me a gamer, that's not entirely true. It would be more accurate to say I'm gamer friendly.
Just please, please don't ask me to play.
Doesn't seem to matter what it is. Monopoly, D&D, poker....I'd prefer not to play.
This is part and parcel of me not being a playful person at all. Taking the kids to the park? A book is coming along too.
I realise this makes a lesser parent, partner and human being. It may also beg the question of which is worse...turning down my family when they want me to game with them, or play resentfully and out of a sense of guilt? I do play the occasional game of Magic ( usually, it is mercifully short) and Star Trek Scene-it, but that's about it.
There was a time a few years ago, when Brian had taken the car to the mechanic and we had to wait for the call for me to drive him down to pick up the car. He decided we were going to play Monopoly. All of us, as a family, and we were damn well going to enjoy it. He quickly caught on to the fact that I never asked for my $200 when I passed go- my long time strategy for keeping games shorter. Unfortunately for me, this meant that the kids now knew about the $200. After three hours, Matthew decided sitting in the corner for the duration of the game (Those were the only options Brian was giving the kids. We would have quality family game time or else, dammit!) was preferable to being in it. The rest of us kept staring at the phone, willing it to ring. Finally, after 5 1/2 hours, the mechanic called. I was never so happy to hear the phone ring and let me tell you, Brian never called a mandatory game of Monopoly again.

The thing about all these ways of eating.

2011-04-04T14:07:00.000-07:00

     Like many of us, I grew up on the Standard American Diet. I was 14 when I made my first foray into rebelling against that, by going vegetarian. Of course, I was a crappy vegetarian too-potato chips and Pepsi are free of animal products! I flitted on and off with the meat free life for years, but still ate pretty crappy food. I was young, with a good metabolism, and could "get away with it."
     Fast forward to 20. Newly married, living in a new state, I sought out a doctor so I could keep up with my allergy med prescriptions. I went to a little old Korean man named Doctor Kim, who told me "You don't need medicine, you need to stop eating crap." I decided to give it a try, and damn, it was right. I was disappointed but I felt so much better I had to stick with eating real food. It was, still, pretty standard fare, with no real food left unturned.
     Fast forward to three years ago. I was the largest I had ever been- even taking into consideration pregnancies. I was in constant abdominal pain and my asthma had reached a point where my HCP wanted to put me on steroids. I was already fat and did not want to have to fight off steroid weight! Talking with my husband and best friend, we decided before I went the steroids and invasive IBS testing route, I should give up dairy. This made sense and 2 of my 3 kids were lactose intolerant. Within a week, I knew. I was not sick, I had a food allergy. And I was starting to lose weight.
    I wanted to keep losing. I started exercising, cut back my portions, and had the joy of that quick early weight loss. After about 2 years I plateaued hard, so I started reading. Everything I read conflicted. Eat more whole grains. All grains are bad. Eat what you want, just less. I soon came to a conclusion: Nobody has all the answers for anyone.
   Right now, I am exploring the Paleo lifestyle. It seems a natural fit for me, bringing together two of my favourite subjects: human evolution, and my own health and longevity. I first started exploring it before the partypalooza that is life in February- March in our family, because I knew I would take a hit with all the goodies. Of course, trying to embark an a grain free, sugar avoiding lifestyle right before all that celebrating was doomed to failure. But by the time Matthew's birthday party rolled around on March 26, I was done. I had a raging yeast infection, thrush, and my osteoarthritis was so bad I couldn't use my left hand. It was time.
   After two weeks, I can tell you, I feel much better without grains, and mostly dark chocolate for my treats.

     But don't worry, I won't turn into an evangelist. And I won't be giving up the option of birthday cake. I wouldn't go this route if I thought I couldn't allow myself that (Though I think I may ask for a pave for my birthday cake.) But I would never say this is thew only way for everyone. I've spent years eating, reading about food, and eating some more, and I could distill all the wisdom that applies to everyone into one sentence: Eat real food, and stop when you're full. Everything else, every has to figure out on their own

Two thank yous...one is actually genuine.

2011-03-06T13:51:00.000-08:00

     Thank you, City of Federal Way, that your automatic teller, I mean, traffic cameras don't recognise that right turn on red is legal, and that you declared that such is "No Defense" . I'm really having fun looking for things of value to sell on E Bay so I can pay your damn fine and still be able to take my husband out on the (belated) dinner out to the Elysian he really wanted for his birthday. Trouble is, when you need to try and sell your possessions to pay a traffic fine, you usually can't afford to have much of value in the first place. I guess I should be thankful that you lowered the fine for, I don't know, trying, but that's still about a third of my pay for the MONTH that I am looking to pay.
So to you, a thank you that is pronounced differently than I spelled it.
     Of course, this means I will be a LESS safe driver now, as I will be more than concerned about another traffic fine than the fact that a sudden stop at a red light to avoid your automatic cash machines dinging me again than I am of being rear ended.
     On the other hand... I also got in the mail yesterday an envelope from the library system. I thought it HAD to be bad news too ( who lost what book this time?) and I was opening it Brian said, "It's not like the library is going to send you money". Well...not quite but almost! I got a $5 Starbucks gift card for participating in Take Time to Read! Yay!!! A heartfelt Thank you to you, King County Library System!

Cooking for more of the crowd

2011-01-28T13:11:00.000-08:00

(Note: in the interest of brevity I will use the term "food allergies" to include people with both allergies and intolerances. But there is a difference; please know it)
For any food allergy sufferer, one of the chanciest times is when you are going to an event that involves cooking for a crowd. Potlucks aren't so bad, because the allergic person can just bring a dish they KNOW they can eat ( I often bring two, a main dish and dessert). But when going to a social event where food will be provided, it gets trickier. For me, that often involves church events, and believe me, your typical Lutheran Hot Dish is NOT dairy allergy friendly. Now it's true, you can't please everyone all the time, and with the wide variety of allergies/intolerances, health, religious, and philosophical eating restrictions out there (not to mention just plain aversions!), you would end up just serving pears and water if you wanted to accommodate them all (Very few people are allergic to pears). People with severe or life threatening allergies will probably just forgoe any food they are worried about. That said, I wanted to compile a few ways to make group meals a little more accessible.

1 Save the label If you do nothing else, if you bring manufactured food to a potluck or group dinner, save the label until dinner is served. This allows anyone with any kind of concern to make an informed decision.

2 Put it on the side Nuts, cheese, croutons, hard boiled egg, bacon bits, dressing - these are all things that can render a salad off limits to the allergic person. It may take a few more dishes, but leaving these things on the side opens up your salad to darn near everyone. (besides, a pre dressed salad gets limp pretty fast, and you can't really save the leftovers.) It also means picky people will be more likely to eat your salad, and we want people eating their salad.
This also goes for pasta dishes too- just leaving the cheese on the side will allow the dairy intolerant to eat it, as well as people required to watch their cholesterol ( and if the dish has meat, people who keep Kosher).

3 Bring it plain Most people can and will eat chips- if they aren't coated with an allergen. Bring plain salted chips (I like Kettle!), plain tortilla chips instead of nacho cheese ( you can serve nacho cheese sauce on the side) and Fritos instead of Cheetos.

4 Put fresh fruit on the table And I don't mean fresh fruit in a Jello salad, or dressed with a mayo and sour cream sauce. Just plain fruit. We could all stand to eat more of it.

5 Ask. All too often people confuse my dairy allergy for vegetarianism. If they get me something vegan, great. If they get me something lacto-vege, I'm still hungry and they wasted money.

Please let me know if this blog post help you, or if you have ideas I should add.

Author's Note. I'm a dairy allergic/intolerant mom with two lactose intolerant children. I'm also allergic to MSG and maybe peanuts. Fun. Permission to repost, with author credit given.

This is the story of a hat.

2011-01-20T13:32:00.001-08:00

DSCN4232
Originally uploaded by gojirama aka romanylass

A few years ago, when we went to visit family and friends in Fresno, my friend Jenn passed on the book "One Skein" by Leigh Radford. I love the book and it's patterns and it has become my "go-to" book when I need to knit a quick present for someone.

Fast forward to this fall. My friend Carolyn handed down some knitting supplies that had belonged to her mom because, in her words, I was the only person she knew who finished her knitting projects.

Then, my childhood friend Roy and his wife had a baby. Which meant- time to make a quick gift! No time to go to the yarn store! I pulled out the book from Jenn, a skein of the yarn from Carolyn's mom, and hey presto, a hat for a friend's baby.

I love knitting for others, not just because it's an enjoyable way to produce a gift for someone, but because it's a form of Making. If you've read Orson Scott Card's Tales of Alvin Maker series, you''ll understand the reference. If not, let me summarise very quickly and inexactly- whenever we make something with our hands,we push back the darkness/chaos that tears down. That's part of the gift.

Things children have taught me

2011-01-18T14:39:00.000-08:00

While I'm by no means any kind of expert, I've worked in some type of child care field for about 18 of my 38 years, in addition to my own kids. While theories vary, I've managed to distill a few things I think are universal- parenting or caregiver, favourite aunt or uncle, styles aside.

1) How you want the children in your life to speak, patterns are more caught than taught.
This covers SO many things. If you don't want your child to swear, set that example. Then , if your child brings home a swear word, you won't be a hypocrite when you tell him "We don't speak like that in our house".
If you want children to say please and thank you, make sure you are extending the same courtesy to them.
If you want children to have impressive vocabularies, use big words with them. They'll ask if they don't understand a word.
Perhaps most importantly, remember the song from South Pacific. Bigotry is carefully taught.

2) When a little child falls down, don't make a fuss. Usually they are just fine and will only fuss if they can tell their caregiver thinks it's something to get upset about. If they DO need first aid, it will go much smoother if they haven't been unduly upset.

3) Children of all ages need to be with children of all ages. This is a difficult one with the set up in most of our schools, but multi grade classrooms and high school/elementary partnerships are increasing in popularity. Little children need big children to look up to, and older kids may gain even more- the pride from being looked up to, cementing their own knowledge and skills by teaching them, learning how to nurture before they find them selves parents.

4) Good Job has its place, but is overused. Try saying Thank You to a child who does as you ask instead.

5) Our older kids are capable of much more than we expect of them, but our society has for decades been extending childhood. Expect the older children in your life to be mature and they almost always will be.

Husband gratitude (because sometimes I forget)

2010-11-30T14:55:00.000-08:00

Sunday, GothGrrl and the DM were doing laundry when she asked why I just put his laundry in a stack all week instead of putting it away from him. He told her he asked me to do it that why "because Mom has more important things to do than put away my laundry."
Last night he came home, gave me his Starbucks gold card and asked for mine. He told me to get drinks on his and he would load my card and get his drinks on it til I had reached Gold level.
Then, when we did cyber shopping later, he didn't say no to anything but the samurai sword handle umbrella I wanted to get a friend who is a college student ( he's heard there have been issues with them).
Tonight, I'm making my chicken and black bean enchiladas at his request. A year ago he would have pouted at me making something he expected to be made with dairy, but lately, he's not only OK with that but asks for some of those dishes. He grates dairy for on top less too. It's so much easier to handle an allergy when you know your family no longer resents what foods you're "denying" them.

I love you, Honey!

Some days, you feel good about what you're doing.

2010-11-04T13:04:00.000-07:00

Today, at Matthew's request, we started our day a little differently. Instead of me working out and then showering while the kids did schoolwork, we took a walk on the trail before swim. The reason was that Matthew anted to look for Northwest Alligator lizards. We didn't find any, and it was really weird for me to not work out, but we did get home and more work than usual done before swim. Matthew was doing his Latin, and commented that at this point, reading Latin is much like reading English for him.I think this is pretty cool :) While at the center for lessons I had four different older ladies (one on her own, and a group of three) said how wonderful it it that I'm homeschooling, and said many wonderful things about my kids . Happiness!

25 things about me

2010-11-03T13:29:00.000-07:00

1 I LOATHE cooking. But I love to eat so I cook tasty things anyway.

2 When I do kickboxing workouts, I pretend I'm the Slayer. Not that I'm Buffy, but that *I* am the slayer.

3 The real reason I had my kids drug free is my intense fear of needles. 25 hours of unmedicated back labour ( and that was just the first one) was far better than a huge needle going into my back anyday.

4 The above is why I will probably never get a tattoo, even though I had one designed for me 12 years ago.

5 Because I'm hard of hearing in my left ear I prefer to communicate electronically than by phone.

6 Although we all know the good parents will listen to their kids' grievances, I don't have a lot of patience for the "he said, she said, LIAR LIAR LIAR" and I just won't listen to it.

7 I don't like poetry. Exceptt Gibran and Poe. Everything else, I would rather poke out my eyes than read.

8 I hate hate hate pro sports.

9 A good friend (male) keeps trying to get my boys to be interested in sports. I really need to firmly tell him we're HAPPY the kids are not so into sports.

10 I have never tried an illegal drug and am really not interested.

11 The list of things I would NOT give up for an iPhone is so short, I could count it all on one hand and have fingers left over. However the top one, being home with my kids, would be the one that creates a situation where I can' afford one.

12 I hate oatmeal, bananas, and raisins. I would only eat them to prevent my death by starvation.

13 I have a " thing" against Jetta drivers. Hope I didn't offend you.

14 I don't see why anyone would ever knit a sweater in pieces and sew it together. In the round rules!

15 I'm not sure how to rate my standards for what I let my kids read/watch. They are for sure looser than my husbands, in which case I will defer to his comfort level. I have friends that run the spectrum from very conservative to no censorship, and I probably fall at about the 70% toward liberal end.

16 I also loathe doing dishes. My family can attest as I "outsource" as much as I can through assigned chores, bribes, punishments or just being so busy outside the house on an evening I'm not there to do them. A working dishwasher is only second to an iPhone on the list of material things I want.

17 I can't keep powdered sugar in the house between birthdays or I will stress eat homemade chocolate frosting. It's like crack to me.

18 I consider the internet "cheaper than therapy" and use it in lieu of same.

19 I had an unpaid job as a rock concert photographer as a teenager. It came with a backstage pass. I was hit upon by Gene Simmons and Kip Winger, but was a good girl.

20 I started going grey at 17, and have dyed ever since. I do not plan to stop any decade soon!

21 I am a bit OCD about some things, like where the water pitcher gets set down. I will stop whatever I'm doing to "put things" right".

22 Right now I mostly think I look good. For the first time in my life. But not everyday.

23 Celebrity "crush"- Christopher Eccleston

24 Unless I am saying the Lord's Prayer, I will perform quite a bit in the way of verbal gymnastics to avoid referring to God in the masculine.
25 For #25, ask me anything I can answer, with the knowledge that two of my kids and many of the people I go to church with read here.

The crazy hate brush

2010-09-09T13:21:00.000-07:00

     If you blame an entire religion for the single incendiary act of a small, radical contingent of that faith, you might be   Terry Jones. Sadly, you might just as well be someone reacting to Jones by lumping the whole of Christians in with him and his ilk.
Pot, meet kettle.
     Once you take that step...once you say, "Look at what this one church is doing, aren't Christians awful?" you are putting your foot on the same road Jones once put his foot on. You are letting the lunatic fringe define an entire group of people, the vast majority of which are NOT hateful.
     I have a suggestion, a favour, I'd like to ask of my non Christian friends. Next time some bugnut crazy hateful Christian like Jones makes the news, try and stop yourself if your initial reaction is to paint all of us with the crazy hate brush. Bring to mind the Christians you know who are not like that, and say to yourself, "Not only are they as pissed as I am, they're quite mortified." Remember that making sweeping generalizations only breeds more division, which is the last thing humanity needs right now.

I am the age I am.

2010-09-08T14:31:00.000-07:00

I turned 38 last Friday, and it appears I am reaching the age when it's expected I will start lying about it. If not this year or the next, soon. I have heard quite a few jokes about staying one age or the other for all future birthdays. My own husband insists he wants to stay 42. (He's 43).
This all seems rather silly to me. Not like I think lying about one's age is a "bad" lie- it's pretty innocuous, like fudging the weight on your driver's licence. But, why not tell the truth?
Maybe it's because I look pretty good for my age. A combination of good genes and mostly avoiding aging habits has served me well. (Hint: I look way younger for my age then my friends who took up smoking, for any length of time). Maybe in 20 years I'll eat my words. But right now, I have no problem with how old I am. With the liberal application of sunscreen, water, and black coffee I plan to be pretty joyful about 40.

Practical prolife

2010-08-24T13:56:00.000-07:00

I have always, always been prolife, but I think that since adolescence I have been so in a practical way. I'll tell you what I mean by that, but first a little background.
Although I am a religious person I am not prolife for religious reasons. I am prolife because my mother was a poor, mentally ill woman with an abusive husband when she got pregnant with me. Then she started hemorrhaging, and the doctors told her to have a D&C (this was before Roe v Wade). They told her her child, if brought to term, would be so disabled she would wish she hadn't. Don't I sound like an ad for why woman should get abortions? I am so grateful my mother didn't.
I also think the Bible is a poor reason for being prolife. Not only should religion NOT dictate public policy, but abortion is never actually prohibited in the Bible. All you get if you rely on the Bible is that if a man causes another man's wife to miscarry after the age of quickening, he owes the HUSBAND a fine.
So, what I mean by being practical in my prolife beliefs. Many prolifers I observe are coming from a conservative viewpoint that proscribes two things- gay sex and premarital sex. As for the first- those gay people aren't going to be getting each other knocked up and getting abortions, right. That's about 10% of the population out of the equation so leave them alone. As to the second, I think it be great if my kids all waited until they had a degree, a spouse and a full time job to have sex. That's a value I have and will teach them. But I have known so many people in my life who came from the "abstinence only" parents who had abortions to keep their parents from finding out they'd had sex.(one was a Chinese co-worker of mine who specifically had an abortion so her father would not find out she's had sex with a white boy) I vowed to be open enough with my kids that I would hopefully take that issue off the table.I want them to know that while I would prefer them to not have sex, if they are going to I want them to use contraception and practice safe sex, and I will help them in that regard. Sure, it breaks form the "Christian Parent party line", but I want to be realistic. A life may depend on it.

Lake fail :(

2010-08-23T17:25:00.000-07:00

Olivia, Andrew and I tried to go to 5 Mile Lake today. It was a bit of fail. First off, it was too chilly. It was in the high 70s which would have been fine with no breeze, but it was really breezy. Andrew was hungry and we had forgotten to bring food. But the kicker was all the moms there, with their little kids, who were smoking! I could not walk around enough to get away from it. If I had been just over the county line in Pierce County that would have been illegal....why do we ban smoking in bars and not in places parents take their little kids???? I hope we get in more lake days before the summer is over.

New blog!

2010-08-22T14:45:00.000-07:00

Andrew's just been so full of wacky lately we decided he needs his own blog. At this point I will mostly write it, but will eventually turn it over to him. Luckily he's eager for me to share his exploits with the world. Lest you think his older siblings will feel slighted, they are thrilled I don't find their exploits worthy of their own blogs.
(If Andrew is not book or movie deal worthy, I don't know who is)
Visit the wacky world of Andrew at:
http://turboandrew.blogspot.com/

No kids' table

2010-08-18T12:57:00.000-07:00

I'm not a child nutrition expert, but I have kids, my kids have friends, and I work with
kids. I have had a lot of opportunity to observe they way we have kids and form a few opinions.
When I was pregnant with Matthew and announced my intent to breastfeed, I was told by one co worker that I would "have to give up garlic". Now, I was a first time mom with no family help in the area of breastfeeding support, aside form my husband, so maybe I didn't know anything. But the more I thought about it the more ridiculous it seemed. Did Italian woman give up garlic whilst nursing? Didn't take much research to tell me no ( and I didn't have internet access then!) Then they start eating food, and you can choose to force feed bland jarred food or fact, research shows babies will suck MORE if the mother ingests garlic! http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1200/is_n15_v140/ai_11494619/

Then they start eating solids, and conventional wisdom has us spoonfeeding boxed rice cereal and unseasoned mush
from a jar. Yum ,thats's appetizing. If you go the make your own route, you're STILL advised to make it bland. WHY? Of course, with babies we have to introduce foods slowly in ca
se they have allergies, but why make it bland? Are we TRYING to set them up to be picky eaters? Another thing I see frequently is cutting the crust off bread, only feeding toddlers white bread, and a few years later complaining they won't eat a nice crusty slice of whole wheat bread. I seriously want to cry when I see someone cut the crust off their kids' bread. I know, that sounds like an extreme and irrational rant, but it's both wasteful and teaches kids to be picky eaters.
Most of us have a way we want our kids to end up eating, so it makes little sense to me to not feed them that way from the start. Fill your boobies with that spicy goodness. Give your baby finger food with lots of wonderful flavours-garlic, curry, basil, peppers. Expect your two year old to eat the same way you will expect him to eat at 12. Talk about where your food comes from, and plant at least one thing you can eat so they see first hand food comes from the soil, not a box. Never tell a kid "You won't like that" or "that's too spicy for you". (Of course, if I do say that to my kids they know I really just
want it all for myself and demand some). Fill your child's life with flavour.

A bit of Andrew

2010-08-11T12:37:00.000-07:00

"This jelly is gelatinous. Which is logical because jelly should be gelatinous. But this is exceptionally gelatinous jelly".

"I know why all the bees are dying. The queen bees are eating them!"
Me: "Bee mites. It's been established".
Him: "Noooo, I just saw a bee and a queen bee flying and then the flew to the ground and she ate it's HEAD!".
"Maybe they were mating and she had no further need for him".
"No, the bees are just turning cannibal".

"Sanctity"of marriage- what does that mean, anyway?

2010-08-07T12:14:00.000-07:00

With the defeat of Prop 8, the whole concept of the "sanctity of marriage" is being brought up again. The people who are using this term, ie, the conservatives, are defining this as marriage between one man and one woman. This usage pretends that gay couples don't view their marriages as sacred. This gets to the heart of the problem with marriages in our society. Couples not viewing their marriage as sacred. We have ample evidence that plenty of straight couples cannot grasp sanctity of marriage, and plenty of gay couples who have stayed true to each other, with or without legal sanction, to prove that sexual orientation has nothing to do with being true. Maybe those of us who support marriage equality need to claim sanctity of marriage. It's not about sexual orientation, or even the couple's beliefs about religion. Sacred marriage is about commitment.

Equal Parts pancakes or waffles

2010-07-31T12:47:00.001-07:00

waffles
Originally uploaded by gojirama aka romanylass

This is not a gourmet, fancy, time consuming pancake or waffle recipe. It's the one you want when you stumble out of bed late and ravenous after a night of overdosing on sugar while enjoying the wonders of streaming netflix, gaming, reading that page turner, or whatever activities keep you up.
For each two people, mix together
1 cup each of whole wheat flour and milk of your choice
1 egg
1 tsp each baking POWDER and salt
It's that simple- no added fat or sugars. You'll do that after anyway.
Can be used for old fashioned pancakes, waffles, or Turbo's favourite way, in his doughnut factory. Nom, nom nom!

What having more than one kid has taught me

2010-07-29T12:24:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: I believe family size is a very individual, private thing, and that parents who choose to have one child are not living or giving a life that is any less full. However, I have seen that there are things it takes more than one kid to learn (or unlearn, as the case may be). In no particular order, this is what raising three children has taught me.

While you do have to watch out for your kids' personal safety, they are not really made of glass.
Steps. Kids need to learn to use them sooner rather than later.
Cookie dough. Really, do you actually KNOW anyone who has gotten sick, or even worse, died from it? Hearsay doesn't count.
Forget the ten second rule. If there are no bugs crawling on it, it's still edible.
Strong boys wear pink. Especially if they have a big sister. In fact, if they have a big sister, they probably wear pink tutus.
Sometimes it's easier to codify than disallow fighting.
New clothes? You mean socks and underwear, right?
Never let pride get in the way of accepting help.
You don't have to call the doctor for everything.
If you can stand up, you are well on your way to being able to sweep, fold laundry, and wash dishes.
Try not to get to attached to your possessions. Someones just going to break, make off with, or stain it.
Overlook things, if no property damage or broken bones will result.
It's OK to sometimes not know where your kids are.
Playing in the rain is not bad. It means mom will stay sane.
Mom does not have to share her chocolate.
If you get fashed about germs, you'll go hungry a lot.
Hand washing. A good idea, yes, especially if you can see dirt, but again, do you really know anyone who's gotten sick from eating without washing first?

Sustainability

2010-07-28T12:40:00.000-07:00

If there's anything we Americans value, it's our freedom- conditionally. One thing I have come to believe is that people from every side of the aisle want to be free to do what they want to, while disallowing those things they don't think others should do. Except for the most dedicated Libertarians, we all have things we think the government should step in on. For me, there is no issue I feel more strongly needs regulation that those regarding sustainability. I would like to think people could prevent government control in this area by CHOOSING to make more sustainable choices, but we are still far behind the curve on that, aren't we? And if we are to have regulations, I think it's much better to make them on levels as local as possible. As of the first of this month, the city of Seattle has required all food service establishments to serve their food in packaging that is either recyclable or compostable. I think this is a wonderful thing and that all cities should follow suit-now, before the state of the environment gets so crisis that federal governments have no choice but to step in and make drastic changes in our lifestyles.
Because here's the thing- it doesn't matter who has what rights, who is protected, if we can't breathe the air, if the water makes us ill ( that is, if we have any water). When it comes to the environment, we truly ARE in this together. No matter what we agree or disagree on, we all have to live here.
Let's make the choices, in our lives, now. To take it beyond recycling and carrying a few bags to the store. To compost, hang our laundry, cloth diaper, use hankies, use woman cloth, buy hybrid, buy used, borrow, freeganise and barter before buying new, walk or cycle whenever we can, to think beyond cheap plastic crap. Let's choose it now, before the choice is taken from us.

Ch ch changes

2010-07-27T11:53:00.000-07:00

And yes, I will never hear that song the same since The Tenth Doctor: The Musical.

A few changes as we head into our new school year. Since
they lead into one another I will start with dance changes. For the past two years my kids have been at Action Dance Academy. While we have had some great teachers, and made great friends there, the drive has been a bit of a hassle from the start. At the time we started there it was the closest dance school that was a community based instructor with our charter school, so there we went. Recently, Ninth Avenue School of Dance, which is about 7 minutes away and the school where Olivia and Andrew have done Nutcracker for several years, became a CBI. So it is with some sadness we say Farewell to ADA and embark on a new chapter in dance.
Which leads into: Olivia has done bells with our church for three years now. Because she will be moving up to three days a week of ballet, she had to make a choice ( time conflict). She chose ballet ( somewhat to my surprise) so will be forgoing bell choir this year. I wish we could have made it all work. I still have to figure out what she will do about ballet during Lent.

Anyone in Federal way knows that for the last few years our regional library has been undergoing major renovations. These are now done, and I have officially transferred all my holds from the 320th to Regional. While I love being able to walk/cycle to the library I feel a bit sad and disloyal switching from the library where my kids went to storytime as wee ones.

Bigoted in Federal Way

2010-07-14T15:43:00.000-07:00

I just read a letter that made my blood boil. You can read it here: http://www.pnwlocalnews.com/south_king/fwm/opinion/letters/98287124.html

I don't often write letters to the editor, but this letter was so full of hate that I did. I don't know if it will be printed or not, but I'm sharing it with you here.

TJ Brown's letter regarding "Gay in Federal Way" is full of hate and misinformation. Moving to any particular city over another to avoid gay people is an exercise in futility. Gay people make up roughly 10% of our population and since they are born , not recruited ( which Brown was concerned about) they are being born here, there and everywhere, all the time. Even in Federal Way.Brown also confuses gays and transvestites ("and a dress too if he wants to play dress up with his steam bath buddies").I can understand wishing our city did not have to spend money on diversity awareness issues, including gay awareness. However, Brown's letter is proof that we need to.

Seriously

2010-07-13T12:52:00.000-07:00

Andrew and I were taking a walk a few days ago when we stopped to talk to a neighbor on the way home. As we were talking I began to suspect that the logic system I thought she followed was not, in fact what I thought it was. First, she was telling me to check out a movie called "message from water". You can read more about it here : http://www.life-enthusiast.com/twilight/research_emoto.htm but the essence of what she told me is that if you think loving thoughts at your water before you drink it, it can heal you. She then proceeded to tell me, in all seriousness, that on December 23rd, 2012, Atlantis and Lemuria will rise out of the ocean , displacing some part of some continent, she knew not where. I said, as seriously as I could, that I have heard all my life that California's coast was going to fall into the Pacific Ocean. And Andrew in complete seriousness said we'd better give out Christmas presents early that year.

Language, transcripts, activities, oh my!

2010-07-12T12:21:00.000-07:00

Friday night,I decided it was time to start planning the next school year. I kicked this off my having a huge sugary granita at about 7 PM and then sitting down with The Well Trained Mind and the new Rainbow Resource catalogue, paper, pen, and the thrash metal Brian was playing on the computer.
It took me 2 1/2 hours to start feeling insane.
I will have a 3rd, a 6th, and an 8th grader next year. I will have to start making transcripts for Matthew this year. So, a few actual questions, dear readers. What do you use to record transcripts? Things like math, language arts, etc are pretty straight forward but what about "squishier" subjects where it's harder to determine a percentage grade?
We have done Latin for 4 years and Greek for 3, but I also want to start teaching a contemporary foreign language. I had always thought to do Spanish simply because that's most likely to be needed in their everyday lives. None of the kids want to do Spanish. I could just force the issue but there are other languages that would be good to learn. Japanese and Mandarin- both could be useful. We have a Japanese neighbour so they could have immediate reinforcement (not to mention watching kaiju and samurai films in the original language). Mandarin is widely spoken world wide and then they could understand *all* the dialougue on Firefly. Opinions, readers?
So this is what I'm looking for for the next year- Ecce Romani, (M,O)Koine Greek, Saxon Math ( with the DIVE compass CD for Matthew), Saxon Grammar (M,O) First Language Lesson and Writing With Ease (A) Science Daybooks (I want to do something more for science but I have not figured that out yet. All the comprehensive stuff seems to be written from a creationist standpoint), Story of the World (Last half of Modern History), Logic, WA State History, replaced mid year with US Gov't, second half of Minimus Secundus (A), art appreciation. I am adding music appreciation and lives of the composers, and looking at Classical Writing for M and O. I can't tell from the description or googling if it's secular or not, and I can;t find the unfunded list on CVA so I just can't tell.
Then activities. We are looking at:
Every other Monday, work MOPS
Every Monday, swim at 4 (all), Olivia ballet at 6:30
Tues- Andrew tap at 4:30, Olivia and I off to knit night most weeks.
Weds: (possible)PE for Andrew at 10:30 ,swim at 4, Olivia dropped off early for ballet at 6:30 on the way to take Matthew ( and any other kid I end up carpooling) to confirmation, also at 6:30. Pick Olivia up late.
Thurs: Drop Olivia off early for ballet on the way to work, require Brian to pick her up.
Friday (possible )PE for Andrew at 10:30
Sat ballet for Andrew at 11:30, if he can be talked into it
Nutcracker rehearsals every Sat/Sun Sept-Dec.
Did I miss anything?
I know I can do this. I know I can.

Enough with the useless

2010-07-09T12:32:00.001-07:00

Beacuase that's what this summer has been.
Our summer starts after Olivia and Andrew's annual performance, which has usually been Father's Day weekend. And I have accomplished almost nothing since then. I have hung many load of laundry ( important to me, as I drive so much. My friend Cheryl calls it my "personal carbon offset programme"). I have cooked meals, taken walks, and gone to the lake a few times, but that's about this. I wish I could at least say I had done lots of knitting or read lots of books, but I can';t even say that. I have barely finished any of either.
I'm sure a lot of this is that the kids have been letting me sleep in. I know many moms would say "Good job!" but it's been making my days start insanely late. Gotta stop. I haven't been blogging, I haven't been writing lesson plans for work, though I did do some of BOTH today ( as you can see with the blogging). I have totally failed to start planning for next school year, except to decide I want to take a field trip to the first Starbucks (Hey, I am required to teach WA state history!) and I really need to get on it because this year I need to start writing transcripts for Matthew. Oy.
So, no more of the useless. Expect more from me and bug me if I slack!

How the Rebelution is like Buffy the Vampire Slayer

2010-06-24T12:21:00.000-07:00

I learned many things in my years attending La Leche League meetings. Most importantly, of course, I learned how to keep breastfeeding and why it matters. I learned that it's biologically normal to sleep with your baby, and I learned you can keep your bathroom counter reasonably clean if you swipe it down with toilet paper saturated with rubbing alcohol every other day. But perhaps one of the most life changing things I learned was the phrase repeated at the beginning of every meeting..."Take what you can use, and leave the rest".
This is a concept that came into play for me as I started reading the book "Do Hard Things" by Alex and Brett Harris. http://www.therebelution.com/about/rebelution.htm Anyone in the homeschooling community who happens to be Christian probably have some passing familiarity with the Harrises. Alex and Brett's parents, Gregg and Sono, have long been eloquent advocates of Christian homeschooling. Their older brother Josh is best known for championing the cause of "Biblical" courtship over dating. Although I am far, far left of the Harris family I respect that they speak their beliefs with conviction, even if I disagree with most of them. Although I want to see my kids do big things for God by serving people, and I'm proud to say they do that already, I am coming from a much different place than the authors. I won't touch on that except to that liberal will find more areas to disagree than to agree with the authors. Anyhow, by now you probably want to know how I think a couple of conservatives compare to the Buffster, right? An atheist created show full of demons and lacking the modesty and purity they espouse?
"Do hard Things" speaks much the same message that I love in BtVS. The book has a great message that, it happens, will appeal mostly to a select group of people, the very conservative. However, the idea that teenagers should not waste their youth waiting for the time when they have to be responsible adults but to grab life by the horns, believe their skills can be useful NOW, and to do big hard things is one all teenagers should hear, regardless of what their beliefs about religion are.
A lot, I realised earlier today, like Buffy. Buffy and her friends are teenagers, but they do big hard things every episode, saving their town (and sometimes the world) from the forces of evil at all levels, from the individual vamp to the threatening apocalypse. They have a wise mentor, sometimes more, who advises them but when push comes to shove, it's the youth doing it. The Harrises advocate collaboration; Buffy is a stronger better Slayer because she has her friends on her side. Buffy and the Scoobys fight evil when they have to give up the "normal" life other teenagers are having, when it means holding themselves to a different standard, when it means putting their lives on the lines, when they face ridicule. All values I want my kids to embody, and who wouldn't?

Dairy Free, Soy Free Dark Chocolate Ice Cream

2010-06-02T13:27:00.000-07:00

I made this recently for my best friend Cheryl's birthday. When made as directed it is free of dairy, soy, corn and gluten. Unlike may such frozen deserts you won't feel like you're eating it "instead of" ice cream- even my dairy loving husband said it didn't taste like a substitute and that I may have spoiled him for store ice cream.

Whisk together in a medium saucepan:
1 1/2 cups full fat coconut milk (I use chakoah)
1 1/2 cups light coconut milk (I used SoDelicious Plain)
1/4 cup powdered sugar
dash salt

Bring to simmer.

In a 2 cup or larger glass measure, whisk together two large, cold eggs, preferably free range. Slowly , in a very thin stream, pour in about 1/3 the coconut milk mixture while whisking continually.
In a large bowl, combine:
8 oz semi sweet baking chocolate ( the higher the percentage , the better!)
1/2 cup cocoa powder
1/4 cup powdered sugar
*2 TBL solid fat (optional)
1 tsp vanilla extract

*this could be butter, if you do not need to be 100% dairy free, Earth Balance, if you can handle soy (omit the dash salt if you use EB), or, if you want to keep both those out, the solid coconut cream sold in brick. Cocoa butter should work too. Or you could omit it for a less "truffly" dessert.

Pour the custard through a strainer into the bowl ( this will collect and bits of egg that got cooked). Allow the heat to melt the chocolate, them whisk together thoroughly. Cool, then freeze according to your ice cream maker's instructions.

I consider this the real drug problem

2010-05-24T13:02:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, at our end of year Sunday school celebration, the following was read. Plenty of people laughed and or/clapped. I did not. I usually try to just keep my mouth shut about this kind of thing but some days the pro spanking I am exposed to builds up the point that I must blog or burst. Here is the piece:

God Bless the Parents Who Drugged us!
The other day, someone at a store in our town read that a methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in the adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question,"Why didn't we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up? "I replied: I had a drug problem when I was young: I was drug to church on Sunday morning. I was drug to church for weddings and funerals.I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather. I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults.I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the preacher, or if I didn't put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me.I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profane four-letter word. I was drug out to pull weeds in mom's garden and flower beds and cockleburs out of dad's fields.I was drug to the homes of family, friends, and neighbors to help out some poor soul who had no one to mow the yard, repair the clothesline, or chop some firewood; and, if my mother had ever known that I took a single dime as a tip for this kindness, she would have drug me back to the woodshed.Those drugs are still in my veins; and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, and think.They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin; and, if today's children had this kind of drug problem, America would be a better place~Author unknown

My first problem with this is grammatical. Intentional bad grammar, even if it were trying to make a point I agree with, makes me cringe.
Of course the glaring thing is the "drug to the woodshed". Glorifying spanking is bad enough but the image of a child being dragged kicking and screaming to a shed where they will be beaten with an object makes me stomach roil.
Washing the mouth out with soap. So very wrong and potentially dangerous. I know from my days of soap making ( and stupidly leaving chocolate soap out on the counter to cure) that it's not pretty when a kid ingests soap. There are so many gentle ways to deal with swearing ( the first of which being, if you don't want your kid to say a word, never let them hear YOU say it). If a parent really feels a kid's mouth needs cleaned out for cursing, have the kid brush and floss. The dentist will love it.
Why shouldn't a kid accept a tip for helping someone out? My kids help people out all the time ( without being dragged into it, or hit into fear of not doing it) and I leave it to them to accept or refuse reward.
Beating a kid for a bad report card? I bet that sure taught all the dyslexic kids.
Beating a kid for speaking ill of a teacher or preacher? Because we would never want a kid reporting wrongdoing on the part of authority figures.

This was followed the same morning by a child being offered the chance to go somewhere with me, with the threat that the child "would get spanked" for misbehaving for me. The child chose not to go with me ( of course!) and I privately told the parent that if I know a child will be spanked for misbehaving for me, I will not tell them if their child misbehaves. I DO think it's wrong to undermine parental authority but I think it would be a greater wrong to be party to a child being hit.

I look at my kids, my difficult, brilliant, combative kids, and know kids do not need to be hit to grow up awesome. Kids need love, rules, expectations, and affirmation. The real drug that would make America a better place is kids full to the brim with the knowledge that their parents will never hurt them, will calmly and gently lead them back into line when they falter, and believe that they want to make the right choices.

"How Not to Look Old" by Charla Rupp

2010-05-21T13:01:00.001-07:00

I got this out of the library at the recommendation of a friend, and spent most of my sick day yesterday thumbing through it ( while, you New Who fans may find amusing, watching an episode with Lady Cassandra in it). While I am glad I checked this out of the library I would not buy it. I am absolutely sure those people with a decent ( above working poor) income would have no problem following Rupps "low maintenance" guidelines. Even I can manage most of them. But while Rupp talks about wanting to democratize anti aging, it just doesn't take into account that some of us CAN'T visit a colourist even once a year, can't afford to have a regular hairstylist ( I finished the chapter on bangs almost ready to cut myself some...but the last time I scraped together enough money for a haircut ( about a year ago) and took in a picture of Eve Miles to try to get just the look I wanted, it was an Epic Fail. I can't afford Fail. I can't even afford Win most of the time. It also assumes, again wrongly in the case of people like me, that you can afford all first owner clothes.
It's not all bad. For most hair and skin products she gives at least a few that are in just about any one's range. I already use Garnier Nutrisse and it seems to stand up well to the triple figure products.
However, I did walk away with a few priorities to work on as I scrape together the money here and there.
1) Ditch the dark lip colours, as they are aging. Personally I use only Burt's ( or other naturals)on my lips ( as opposed to her recces) and luckily I even have a coupon for that.
2) I really, really need a couple pieces of Spanx. As if I needed a book to tell me that!
3) I should try, occasionally, to wear something other than sneakers. (Although I nerdily submit the Chucks don't count as "gym shoes". Now I just need to score a pair, hopefully in red). And I don't mean to wear work boot instead.
4) I need to stop lining my eyes like a chav.

I do plan to break the "go lighter, and use natural colours" rule when it comes to hair.

Mark Atkin's "Princess of Mars".

2010-05-18T13:33:00.000-07:00

Last night, due to the wonder of streaming Netflix, Brian and I watched a recent movie adaptation of Edgar Rice Burroughs "A Princess of Mars"; for those of you not in the know, the first book in his widely known "John Carter of Mars "series.
This movie, directed and re-written by Mark Atkins, stars Anthony Sabato Jr as John Carter and Traci Lords as Dejah Thoris. The multi tasking of the director and the casting decisions
tell you right from the start that this will be a quality film.
The movie starts with some beautiful shots of what I think must be Bronson Canyon. As you may guess, I am no stranger to panoramic shots of Bronson Canyon.
It goes downhill from there, with the introduction of John Carter, Special Ops agent in Afghanistan, who after a head wound has his avatar transported to Mars 216, orbiting Alpha Centauri. I can almost forgive them for updating him from Civil War soldier; it is the least of the sins this movie commits.
We are introduced to a skinny blond Dejah Thoris who is 5 years older than I am. Even though I am not that much younger, I still would have made a better Dejah Thoris, and I can't act. I have some curves, too, which all of us who grew up on Frazetta interpretations know the Princess has also. Black hair. Curves. Not Traci Lords.
I am especially disappointed as a woman who grew up brunette and curvy, told by Hollywood that wasn't good enough but in Burroughs, for all his political incorrectness and chivalric attitudes, presented heroines that were more like me than any movie.
The Tharks? I am tempted to say, " they couldn't have done the Tharks any worse" but, somebody would take that as a challenge.
All in all, this movie may be one of the worst movies I have watched to the end. Which makes it better than that movie with the Nazi zombies at the ski resort, but not by a huge amount. This is why I knit and crochet while I watch movies...at least that hour and a half was not
completely wasted.

If you give a mouse a burial

2010-05-17T13:02:00.001-07:00

If your kid finds a dead mouse in the backyard, you will have to dig a hole.
While you're digging the hole, you'll think "I need to plant that jalapeno plant I bought two weeks ago".
You decide to give the mouse's death meaning by using the same hole.
If you're now planting a jalapeno there, as well as a dead mouse, you will want to add some compost.
If you're digging out compost anyway, you decide you might as well turn all the compost over.
Once you have all this in the ground, your kid will want to say a prayer.
While he's saying the prayer, he'll decide a $1 store Halloween decoration gravestone is a better marker than a pepper plant.
And if your son decides to mark the grave with a $1 store Halloween gravestone, your daughter will make the mouse a cross out of sticks and yarn

How NOT to say no to your preteen daughter

2010-05-17T12:51:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago in the car, on the way home from Knit Night, Olivia asked me; "After the show, can I cut my hair really short and dye it bright pink?". This is a point where many parents would have just said no. I did not, for two reasons:
1) It's just hair. Unlike, say, my husband, I don't really care what they do with it if it's clean and combed.
2) Since my kids have inherited my personality, I know that saying know is the surest way to get my kids to want to do something more is to tell them no.

So instead I say, "A haircut costs about $20, and a strip and dye kit costs about $15. How are you going to pay for that?"

After a moment's silence she asks me , "If I grow my hair until Halloween, can I dye it black?".

That I can afford.

Praying without ceasing

2010-04-12T12:44:00.000-07:00

I had an 'epiphanous for me" moment a few days ago. I say epiphanous for me because every time I've had an epiphany in the past, I later found out that some one had figured it all out centuries before and I was not actually so brilliant after all. Anyway, it's this. If we are to pray without ceasing, then our every thought is a prayer. My gratitude for a sunny day, and the anger I feel towards those I love. When someone cuts in front of me and I think how nice it would be to see them wrapped around a telephone pole, that's my terrible prayer. Wow.
It comes down to one thing...actually viewing every single person as one of God's precious children. Can we do that? Can we ever get to a point of treating others with compassion if action if we don't do it in our hearts first? It's a daunting task and I'm glad I have God's help.

Gratitude

2010-03-31T12:53:00.000-07:00

I have so many more calories than my lifestyle forces me to use that I must exercise and limit calories.
I have hot water and soap. I have been known to use them to excess.

Aside from moderate lactose intolerance in two of them, my kids are healthy. Mentally and physically and intellectually. They have truly compassionate, generous hearts. This is a blessing that even money can't buy.

I have a husband who loves me, and friends who would drop anything for me ( and have).

I have a wonderful church community that is Spirit filled and dedicated to being God's hands and feet in the world.

I live in an area with more natural beauty than anywhere else, incredible rainfall, and too many free or inexpensive cultural opportunitites for us to take advantage of.

My kids have paper and books and schoolbooks that threaten to take over our house. While children in kenya learn to spell by making letters in the ground with goat dung, my kids will keep recycling drawing paper until their picture is "perfect".

Dear World (a few little pet peeves)

2010-03-26T16:54:00.000-07:00

Dear World,
Just because I am an "at home" (insert insane laughter) mom, I do not have some amazing wellspring of free time that those of you with a "real" ( more insane laughter) don't have. I don't. I just don't. I do things like knitting, watching TV, reading novels and making homemade cakes when you do- after supper chores, or even after the kids are in bed.

People like myself, who eschew frivolity and will never really "cut loose", do not have something wrong with us that needs an intervention. We are HAPPY being the humourless drudges that we are and despite what books, TV, and movies tell you, are not just waiting for someone to come along and set our inner children free.

Please do not confuse lactose intolerance for vegetarianism. This usually results in food I can't eat.

Love,
Jenna

Digging the Smith, for two generations.

2010-03-17T12:28:00.001-07:00

imagessjl
Originally uploaded by gojirama aka romanylass

When I was a little girl, living my boring little life in my small Pennsylvania town, I knew exactly who i wanted to be. Sarah Jane Smith. While I had plenty of other sci fi sheroes to admire, it was exactly what Sarah Jane wasn't that made her so awesome. She didn't need to be a princess, a fighter pilot from a long lost off shoot of humanity, or from the future to rock. She was a regular old 20th century human woman, diminutive like I knew I would turn out to be, who had the balls of the UNIT soldiers she rubbed shoulders with and the brains to hold her own with the centuries old alien she traveled with. What little girl *wouldn't* want to be her.
But Sarah left the Doctor and I grew up.
Then Russell T Davies showed his true brilliance by putting my favorite actress in the world back where she belongs, in the spotlight, dealing with aliens. Like me, she's a mum. And my youngest wants to be her son, Luke. While Andrew's life is busy, it's the same dull normal life Sarah Jane keeps telling Luke she wants him to live- suburbia, schoolwork, sports practice, cleaning his room. Of course he wants to be Luke. Wouldn't the Slitheen, or the Bane, make all that more exciting/
And you know what? I still want to be Sarah Jane. Look at her. She's 64! May I look that good at 54! And I wouldn't mind if my mini van's destination was occasionally investigating alien incursion...

Update: Today, April 19 2011, we have learned that Elisabeth Sladen has passed away. I'm not sure I have anything eloquent to add to all that will be said about her, I just want to say thank you, Liz, for being so much to so many. Godspeed.

Poor does not equal fat

2010-03-16T13:28:00.000-07:00

Pretty much all of us know by now that the obesity epidemic in our country has hit the poorest the hardest, and we hear many reasons for this. While all these reasons have some level of validity, I find it really frustrating to hear someone say they "can't afford" to get in shape. Since I am almost always the least well off person in any group I am in, it's especially frustrating.
You don't need money to get in shape. Here I will take you through a few common agruments and tell you how I did it without spending very much money

Healthy food is more expensive . This is very true if you're comparing prepared foods ( as most Americans are). Cooking from scratch more is a good idea even if you have a great food budget, but it's a must of you're making do with less. Dried beans, large bags of brown rice, ...these kind of foods are way cheaper by the pound than mac and cheese and frozen dinners. But aren't fresh produce and real meat more expensive? They can be ( though not always). And here is an important thing...here in North America most of us take in way, way too many calories. CUT DOWN YOUR PORTIONS!!!! and you will be able to afford better food.

I can't afford to exercise A very real concern for the poor is they have more dangerous neighborhoods than the well off, so they cannot walk as easily ( while the rich drive to the gym...) That is not the only way to exercise. Check your local library's website- there is a wide range of exercise vidoes you can access for free, that will match your fitness level and interests. I exersice barefoot at home, so you can even get started without outlay for shoes. However, I got brand new (with tags) Nike Air running shoes at the Deseret store for $3, so that is not much of a barrier. Pick up some handweights at the thrift store to maximize your workouts. If your neighborhood is safe, walk everywhere you possibly can. And for Pete's sake, take the stairs instead of the elevator and don't waste gas looking for a parking space close to the store.

I don't have time to cook It takes no more time to start boiling water for whole wheat pasta while you throw a can of tomatos, and some garlic, salt and oregano into your blender, than it does to make Mac and cheese. It takes no more time to ask the fast food teller for a salad than a bacon cheeseburger. Quesadillas ( with whole wheat or sprouted grain tortillas) are fast and my kids were making their own by the age of 4.

Everyone deserves fitness, and it's within everyone's reach. Take care of yourself!

On being a bad basketball mom

2010-03-03T18:56:00.000-08:00

Until this February, none of my kids have ever played a sport. Maybe surprising, because I have always striven to have them in multiple activities, especially since joining up with a virtual charter school that will pay for them. Neither Brian or I really played sports- to be accurate, I played one year of Pony League baseball, just as the law started making them let girls play. Needless to say, it scarred me away from sports pretty much forever. Add to that, we live in the Pacific Northwest, which means whatever season you play in, you have a chance of doing it in the rain. I am not mom enough to sit in the rain, pretending to cheer my kid on in an endeavour that bores me to death. A friend, whose sons play soccer whether they like to or not ( I don't agree in that- except for swimming, which I consider a lifesaving skill, activities are by choice) has told me for years that if it was my kid playing, I would become interested. I never believed him, but didn't say so.
So, last fall Andrew noticed a sign for basketball sign-ups at the Centre at Norpoint, where he takes swimming and homeschool PE. He wanted to to that. I thought about that...a sport? One of my geekspawn? But...it's indoors. I won't have to sit in the rain. We can do this.
Practice started. Andrew has some skills, but has never played team sports before. NO. CLUE. about team play. After one practice and one scrimmage...first game. We get home, and Andrew says "We won!" Brian asks me what the score was. I say "I don't really think they keep score at their level". Brian "You didn't pay attention, you just sat there knitting". Despite Andrew's defense of me, I was guilty as charged.
I think I'm a pretty good mom, but like all of us, I have limits. Olivia has never done Girl Scouts because I don't like having cookies sold at me, and I don't want to try to sell them to other people. My kids have never done outdoor sports because I refuse to sit in the rain. And while I will faithfully drive Andrew to every practise and game, I just can't drum up an interest in the the game itself. I do glance up enough to know that he flits between concern for players on both sides and his own "7 year old boy ADOS" (Attention Deficit....Oooooh, Shiny!) tendency to be doing anything but play the game. In a way, it's less painful to have my knitting at hand. And you know what? As long as I support my kids, it's OK not to find it entertaining.

Fitness Friday: You deserve fitness!

2010-02-12T13:49:00.000-08:00

Having plateued over the last few months and gone back and forth between the same 5 pounds, I knew it was time to reassess. What I had started doing to lose weight worked for 30 pounds, then tapered off. Part of assessing the chnges I needed to make has been critically looking at my attitudes toward food, and how society plays into that. Two books I have read recently are "Fat Land" by Greg Critser and "Naturally Thin" by Bethenny Frankel. Very different books, but both books that will make you think about what you put into your mouth and why. One very important conclusion I have come to is this-a big reason we consume too many calories is that we have been told repeatedly that we deserve to. Bad day at work? You deserve a Frappuchino and a muffin at lunch, and a drink or two when you get home. If your supper happens to include overeating , well, you had a bad day, you deserve it! Let's look at that again, a little more honestly: You are under stress, so you deserve to make choices that will lower your physical and mental ability to deal with that stress, cause poor health, which causes more stress, and make your clothes tight, which will cause you to beat yourself up. No, dammit! You DESERVE to be healthy, you DESERVE improved quality of life, and you DESERVE to look good in your clothes. Those are the truly good things. Enjoy the food and drink you want in moderation, but if you are eating or drinking it for any reason than you want to taste it, then it's the wrong reason and will only damage your health.

So, in order for me to achieve my New Years Resolutions

2010-01-06T13:18:00.000-08:00

I may have to actually make some changes. First, to lose the weight. I need to start eating way less. part of that is doing what I did when I lost all the weight when Olivia is a baby. I need to remind myself what a serving is, and use measuring cups to not over eat. be fore anyone jumps on that...yes, I know that for women who have had food issues, that could be dangerous. But I seem to be one of those rare American women who has not, and I did that successfully before without ill effects. I also need to exercise every day. Which I have been doing pretty well at but today- I woke up late, and decided I had no time to exercise and meet even some of my goals for educating the kids today. So I didn't, I'm crabby, and even STILL Olivia is the only kid done with schoolwork. Not that the boys could not have their work done by now. Andrew has spent more time sitting at the table, screaming at his work, than writing today. I KNOW you unschoolers just cringed, but that's who and where I am. Sooooo...I need to start getting up earlier. Like at the same time everyday, either by alarm clock or having Brian get me up before he leaves for work. Suck.

New year

2010-01-04T13:40:00.000-08:00

Today is the first day of school for the new year, and also the first day that Brian has been back to work. So for all intents and purposes, this IS the beginning of the year for me. We got off to a late start, and there was yelling involved in our school day. Not good. However, Andrew and Olivia are done for the day, and with chores too, and are off to play with friends. I also need to get back on the good eating bandwagon. Over vacation my eating and exercising suffered. One of the many reasons I hate vacations. I gained about 3 pounds, and now have that to work off in addition to all the rest I need to lose. So far I am am doing well today- I haven't eaten any animal products or fattiness yet today, though that will change at supper. Mmm, peanut chicken.

Some thoughts on confidence vs arrogance /pride.

2010-01-03T14:37:00.000-08:00

This has been on my mind much over recent months. Like so many of us, especially women, I have for many years suffered from a lack of confidence. We are told, in so many ways, that we aren't good enough. But in recent years I have worked to gain some skills, things which I make well and am proud of. Yet it has taken me more time still to own that. As I analysed this I became aware of part of the problem...I have been afraid of being prideful or arrogant. Which leads one to ask oneself...what is the difference between confidence and well deserved pride and arrogance and hurtful pride? Jim Bell, who was our reader at church today, hit on it I think. Pride is at another's expense. The difference is like this: "I made some great macaroni and cheese for Suzy's potluck" vs "Suzy and I both made macaroni and cheese for her potluck, but she ended up eating mine instead of hers, because it was better. Of course, that's because I have better taste in cheese than she does." It has taken me so long to own my skills because I have been afraid of being one of those people who make others feel bad. But I can be confident without that. I can accept compliments graciously. I can say, "Hey, I did a great job at that" because I can do so without belittling another (hint- if you DO "have" to put another down to prove how mad your skillz are, they probably aren't all that). I am a darn good knitter. I make pretty things with nice even stitches and feel confident in my ability to learn- to teach myself, even- most techniques I put my mind to. But I don't have to point out who is a worse knitter than I to do that. I make damnfine tasty truffles and frosting, too. So peoples, move forward with confidence in yourself. And give the same gift to those around you.

The right thing for the vain reasons

2009-11-30T13:31:00.000-08:00

You all know about my weight loss, and my food choices, and how I have done it all the healthy way and feel good and strong and healthy. But here's the part I try to downplay.
A big motivating factor for me is vanity.
I know, not an attractive quality. But that's how it is. I'm 37 and in a few months I'll have a teenager. And I am cool with that! I proudly own those aspects of myself!
But good Lord, I do not want to LOOK the part.
I have dyed since the first grey hair, and plan to do so for many years to come. Much of the money I used to spend on high calorie coffee drinks, I now spend on unguents with alpha hydroxy acid, grapeseed oil, and other ingredients that promise "to hide fine lines and wrinkles". I eat foods with antioxidants, like blueberries and nuts, like crazy. I am starting to share clothes with my daughter.
It helps that I was blessed by good genes-my grandmother never looked her age, either. (Many of my other close female relatives have smoked, so not such an accurate template). And I *do* think the next thing is my favour is that I have never smoked. I drink mostly water, tea, and black coffee now. A lot of decisions I make are based not just, or even so much on the health benefits, but that I am VAIN and want people to say always "You look so much younger than that!"

Wow, in the past year

2009-11-27T13:15:00.000-08:00

I have lost 35 pound ( though I think I gained almost 5 back yesterday, I have given up dairy completely and gotten off albuterol ( unless I am exposed to excessive perfume or second hand smoke), have cured myself of what I though was IBS. I have given up all alcohol except a few glasses of red wine a month. I have given up calorie laden ( and pricey) coffee drinks, and started a purist coffee life. I have added daily cardio, weights, and more walking to my life. taking walks while my kids are in lessons has been a lifesaver, physically and mentally. I feel fantastic- better than I ever have in my life. Ever. here is to the last 25 pounds and more fitness goals reached!

It's Friday night, it must be time for kettle corn

2009-11-20T20:54:00.000-08:00

I swear I am addicted to the stuff!

In a heavy bottom pan, stir together 3 TBL olive oil, 3 TBL sugar, and 1/2 a cup of popcorn kernels. Set over medium heat, and pop, shaking occasionally, until the popping slows down. Remove from heat, but let set a few minutes so any last kernels can pop and it crisps up. You'll probably scorch some to the bottom but who cares? Salt liberally because popcorn without lots of salt is like sex without an orgasm.

Pork Vindaloo in the crockpot.Ada

2009-11-20T13:28:00.000-08:00

Adapted ( rather loosely) from the Joy of Cooking

Heat your crock pot to high. Cut about 3 ish pound of pork into chunks. Toss them in. Drizzle with a little olive oil- if you're making this dish, you don't care about fat anyway. Chop an onion and toss it in. Toss in all the following, then stir it all up and cook on high for 3-4 hours or low for 7-8:

a few TBl garlic
3 TBL grated ginger
about 3 TBL curry powder
2 tsp cumin
about 1 tsp each of cardamon, cloves, and cinnamon
1 can tomato paste.

Bread machine Naan

2009-11-17T15:19:00.000-08:00

By request- this recipe is adapted from "The Barbecue Bible" by Steve Raichlen

Combine in bowl of bread machine:
4 cups white whole wheat flour
1/2 cup vital wheat gluten
1 egg
2 1/2 tsp yeast
about 1 TBL olive oil
about 1 TBL sugar or honey
about 1 cup warm water

Start processing and watch closely to see if it will need more water. It may need up to a cup more. Allow dough cycle to finish. Remove and cut into gold ball size pieces. If you don't have access to a grill ( the best way to make them, but don't ask me how, Brian does that) heat up a cast iron skillet to medium hot. If you have more than one, it will go faster. Cook on each side about 2-4 minutes, or until it bubbles and brown spots start to form. Try to make them last until supper.

Lost Boys : The Tribe

2009-11-13T16:35:00.000-08:00

When I was a teenager, I was obsessed with "Lost Boys" I watched it several times a week and could recite it the way I can recite Princess Bride. What was not to love...it had Keifer Sutherland, both Coreys, the awesomest Doors song ever, and a buff shirtless guy playing a sax. And vampires. So when I read that a SEQUEL had been made, I was off to add it to my Netflix queue.This movie has Angus Sutherland, a Corey,a song by some group I have never heard of, and a shirtless guy playing a sax who really needed a muumuu. And vampires that made those in "30 Days of night " look like neat, polite eaters. They at least had the sense to include "Cry Little Sister" ( redone, of course) and some lines from the original about the death throes of vampires. As so often happens, the sequel epically failed to live up to the original.